Getting to know me better

The other day I was walking to work when one of my coworkers drove by. They slowed, honked several times, and after failing to get my attention, drove off and left me sauntering up the cool city streets. When she told me about it, she said her son-in-law looked at me and said, “You sure this guy works with you? He doesn’t look to right in the head to me…”

What happened was that I was talking to myself, and if you know me, I’m quite the joker, and it’s quite natural for me to laugh at some of the things I come up with. Some may say that it’s quite crazy of someone to talk to themselves, but to me, it’s crazy not too!

Think about it for a second. Who do you spend every waking moment with? Who’s there with you through thick and thin, and never leaves your side? Who knows all your secrets, your likes and dislikes, hobbies and favorite spots to hang out?

YOU! 

It’s important that you not necessarily talk to yourself as I do, but communicate with yourself. Get to know you; become one of your best friends. You’re stuck with you no matter what anyway,  so why not spend the time getting to know you? Learn to live with yourself; learn to love yourself! And if you find that you aren’t a good friend to yourself, then you can change in order to accommodate yourself. It seems so easy, right?

Just like any relationship, you need to communicate with yourself to keep it healthy and strong. You may have your own ways, as I do mine, but isn’t that what having a best friend is all about? Having your own language to communicate with yourself just deepens the connection with the real you. So have fun you all!

I love me, but don’t worry, I love you all too! 😀 Enjoy life my friends!

Real Talk: Being the change

Image

Recently, the leader of the youth ministry and I were talking about the current failures of his ministry. Mainly, in our church, the main thing we fall short on is contact hours with our youth; while we do have a lot of fun events planned over the course of the year, we know that there isn’t much  time available to really “work” on them. So we were brainstorming, and we decided that we should use the youth to reach the youth; having the youths to be the change. 

Verbally, it sounded great, and I was stoked to begin the conquest of amassing a company of youth elite to begin our journey in transforming the lives of our church’s youth, and the entire church as a whole. However, in trying to do so, I ran into several obstacles; ironically, one of them was the youth leader himself. 

Many times, things seem good on paper, but when it comes to beginning to actually execute, “things” get in the way. Organisational structures, opinions and many other dissensions tend to dilute the passion with which inspires change and the passion that God wants us to have and breathe. Consider the apostles of old; God spoke, and they went. How much of us could honestly say that we operate in this manner?

While I am confident that the initiative I mentioned in my example will come to pass (eventually), it is sad to see in so many cases where brilliant ideas are shut down because of skepticism or deviation from what’s considered “safe”.

My encouragement to you all is as much as possible, be the change! We may be limited in certain aspects in terms of what we can do for the kingdom of God, but as a wise person once said, work within the extremities of the box you’ve been placed in, trusting that God will expand your territory in His perfect timing!

Go forth young soldiers! Don’t let circumstance control you! Control your circumstance 🙂 

Matters of ‘her’ heart: Shock and awe

After having left the retreat, I decided to have a little conversation with her within the social media. I was going to link up with all the new friends I made in any case, so it’s quite natural that I’d also talk to her… right?

As was my usual custom, my ‘interrogation’ phase began, where I’d shoot a host of questions, namely the ones that I either was too afraid to ask, or just chose not to. I am still not sure which is the truth, though if I had to go with one, it would be the latter. I found out much about her in that short time, and I must say, she was a pretty interesting individual. We had some things in common, and others, well we were complete opposites. I put the brakes on my questions for a brief hiatus, and was planning on resuming it soon.

And that was when the blitzkreig began, and it was by no means of my own doing.

Just as I was about to unleash another spate of questions, she stopped me dead in my tracks. She started by stating that she personally dislikes being asked questions, especially so many at once. I was thrown out of my element immediately. What was I to do? And, like the joker of a brain I have, the first thought that came to my mind was to ask her why. (Seriously?) I also found out (in attempts to not ask questions yet still gather information) that she lives nearby and that she attends a music class in my area. I always wanted to start one, and since it was nearby, I decided to join. It took real faith to start that, but that’s a story for another day.

On our first meeting for class, she explained, to the best of her ability, why she disliked the whole question thing. She said something along the lines of people poking around into her life and eventually asking the wrong question; the rest she was a collection of words she loosely threw around to try to get me to understand, but made not much sense at all… I merely concluded that she had a past she wasn’t proud of, or simply just liked to keep things to herself.

What startled me in the next couple of meetings was her openness; whenever I was around her, it felt like she exuded her entire self, without holding anything back. It was ironic that she would be so abrasive when it came to “intrusive” questions, for it felt like although these pursuits in finding out her all failed, that the person she presented to me was nothing but her true self.

The main thing that I could not get over, was how much I saw myself in her. A writer, musician, singer; who lived a life ‘in the dark’ yet is able to portray such a glimmer of light to those around her. She even loves drums! (shout out to all the female drummers out there 😀 )

If she’s anything like me, then for sure, what I have seen thus far is like the tip of the glacier that peeks it’s pale nose above the waters to catch a breath; It’s entire body is underwater and spans for miles on end.

It’s a good thing that this is a metaphor, because scuba gear is expensive, and I certainly don’t wan’t to spend time in the Arctic. This is going to take awhile!

In life, you will find people who bring these “shock and awe” moments to your life. Keep them close! They make life exciting, and you know what, you could never tell what the future may hold. A friendship, a crazy story to tell your grand kids, who knows? God knows 😀

Stay blessed! Love you all!

Image

Real Talk: Drumming to her beat

So if you missed me yesterday, it’s because I took my own advice and took it easy 🙂 

So tonight I came home from having been able to jam on the drums in what has felt like years, although it was only 5 days. And I’ve been thinking lately. There’s about 1,008 different ways that drumming can be analogous to relationships. (I checked 😉 ) However, for tonight, I’d just like to focus on one or two that piqued my interest.

As a drummer, your role within the context of the band is to support the piece, giving it substance and keeping the timing of the song. One does not possess the ability to “make” music on the traps, in that a melody is not created from the drums. One has to work with what’s there. You can learn all the rudiments, have the fastest hands and invent the coolest stick patterns and tricks, but all you can become with such ability is a drummer. To be a musician, You must tastefully support the piece that you’re playing with your band and stay within the limits set out within the arrangement. 

As it is in drumming, so many people within relationships strive to be drummers and not musicians. They try to learn all the skills; learn the sweet talk, purchase the best gifts and talk to their partners every second of every day, but they never aspire to become musicians in their relationship. They don’t listen to the melody of their partner, and then apply the “rudiments” of love to tastefully accompany their song. They don’t take the time to listen; but simply begin soloing their hearts out in the hopes that their partners will be wooed over by their flashy tricks. Sadly enough, some do, and eventually they reach their full potential as a couple and fall apart, because when the melody gets stuck in their heads, it is only then that they notice that they never liked the tune to begin with. 

It’s not easy; learning to discipline yourself to keep to what’s being played is something I only recently began to practice in my actual drumming. Just like drumming, there will be times where your “flashy moves” will be called upon, especially when switching between different phrases in the song. It is in these moments that you showcase what you got; play to your heart’s content! You must remember to come back into the beat of the song however; otherwise, once again, you’ll be drumming and not playing music. You must remember that there is a time and place for everything; and that these moments do have an end. 

In my own attempts to begin drumming to her beat, I recognize many of these vital steps in trying to harmonize perfectly with her songs. I am taking the time to learn her melodies, get a feel for her tempo, understand her rhythm and so be able to know what I must play to sound tasteful. Of course, this works both ways, and so she must get to know my melody as well, as relationships are never unidirectional.

Remember, like music, relationships are largely based on communication, time and lots of practice. No one gets it right away; and there are always improvements to be made. Make sure that everyday your song becomes sweeter and sweeter, that you never stop working on your relationship. Learn your rudiments! Learn her song. Before you know it, you’ll be a musician in no time! 😀

I hope I blessed someone out there, and that you’ll start to tune in to God’s melody as well; it’s a lovely sound, and extremely easy to play along to. It’s as simple as saying yes to Jesus, and letting Him show you the way! I love you all, and wish the best for you in your music careers 😉 Toodles!

Real Talk: Take it easy!

Image

Over the course of last week, I was absolutely LOADED with work. My job demanded much more work than usual, classes after work went on, and there was a concert to prepare for last Friday. At the week’s start, I was beginning to feel sick, and after pushing so hard my immune system went null and I had fallen incredibly ill on Thursday, just one day before the concert. Thank God I felt better on the next day, and was able to perform all my duties, the concert being a huge success.

I wondered how I could have let it get so far to that point in the first place, as I looked back upon my week. How many times do we push and push until there’s nothing left, and then we find ourselves in a state of recovery when our energy is necessary? I had a part to play in a large portion of the concert… what would have happened to it if I couldn’t perform?

I mean this in no way to puff up myself, but rather to humble myself, and I hope to humble someone out there as well. Many times, we give of ourselves (whether selflessly or otherwise) and we keep going and going until our batteries run dry. While this may very well be noble, we have to understand that we are human beings, and however desirous it may be, we cannot have superpowers. Our bodies need rest; and not just sleep! We need time to get away from it all; to reflect on the times gone by or simply to get out there and enjoy life!

Even Almighty God found it fitting to rest on the seventh day.. so who are we to not take some time off? My advice to you: Feeling stressed? Tired? ready to fall down but still trying to press on? TAKE IT EASY! Take a breather to catch your breath, and proceed. What’s the point of all this effort if there’s no way to enjoy it? God promised us a reward for His work; so feel free to reward yourself for yours. 

Enjoy your breather! You all are awesome; you deserve it 😀

Journey to the Truth: Reprise; 28th October, 2007

Brooding in my room

These thoughts flow freely

Of love and destiny,

Such words are whispered to me

This must be His will;

For she and I to unite

My life surrounds this central theme,

It’s what my thoughts imply

Circumstance joins in the charade

Forwarding chaotic messages within this mental plot

Coincidence is not far behind,

Thinning the line from what is and what’s not

Intertwined within is the purpose of the Master

Coiling round the surface of my mind;

The tension burning in my brain,

That the only obstacle left now is time…

Surely, the stage has been set. As I rolled in the covers, every second of this ride with Christina rolled through my mind. The day I met Nikki, one of her close friends, the time God told me to remember Claus, her brother in prayer… It was as if He was preparing me for life with her, and that as time passed by, everything was falling into place.

But what of the rest of the jigsaw?

Image

There she stands

Sharing what I read from that person before reminded me of a poem I had written myself awhile ago, about someone I knew who was going through a rough patch… While I was at it, I thought I should share it too! Hope it blesses someone out there!

There she stands as time stood still

Her life pouring out before her as it all went downhill

Deserted and left out in the cold

As the voices of her friends grew faint and old…

She wept in silence, thinking no one would hear her

Trying her best to cope and get it all back together

But even as she drenched it all with her tears

There was nothing that could quench her fears…

 

But she was wrong.

She didn’t know that all along

There was a hand guiding her, keeping her strong

A voice whispering a silent song

Praying that her nights be peaceful and her days be long

Little did she know

That she was the star of the show

That her God’s been watching

As her face paled like snow

She couldn’t see just how blessed she would be

When she entered the grandeur of that step in her journey

She didn’t know that at the end of this road

That seemed so lonely and forgotten

Was a place that she could rest:

Home; as her eyes were locked in

They were swollen dried up and red

Like those of the Savior as he hung and bled

She thought there was no one akin to her sorrow

but in His hands was her tomorrow.

That even though she couldn’t fathom it now,

There will be joy where it was once hollow.

Ode to herself

Here’s something a friend of mine wrote and I found it so beautiful that I had to share it. Hope you like it! Love you guys 😀 

 

She sings a song that no one knows 
Deceit exudes from her smile as it glows
She twirls and swirls to the melody of her heart
She loathes her heart 
For it is heavy with pain 
She wishes to gaze on him again 
But must continue to sing and twirl
As though there is no care in her little world
She sings a song that no one knows 
And drifts where ever her feet goes 
She rests, but only in despair 
The coldness she feels doesn’t come from the air 
She hears in the distance, a sweet sound
Singing a song she had lost, now she found
The melody of hopefully, this melody peacefully 
Joins hers in symphony 
Makes her smile as true as the word
What she was hearing was the sound of the Word
Something she had barely ever heard
She sings a song that Someone knows 
Someone knows

Image

Letting go of futility; Embracing destiny

Normally, something like this would be done as a Real Talk entry, but I felt lead to do it like this… Sometimes we have worked so hard on things, be it relationships, projects or just about any situation that requires effort, that when things don’t work out and it’s time to move on, we find that for some reason, we can’t. The reality of hurt is too overwhelming; the pressure of having to start over, or simply walk away is too much to bear…. 

How do we let go? Should we? 

The irony of it all is, we can’t really just let go of something. We can’t simply will the strings that connect us to it to dissolve into thin air; time and patience have to have their perfect work for them to be undone. But, in the midst of it all, there are some things that we can do. 

We can trust God. He sent His Holy Spirit to be a comforter to us, so that we, in our struggle and pain, can rely on Him completely and be assured that we will be restored and that our latter can be made greater than our former. 

We can focus on the future; by acknowledging what has gone before, learning from it, and letting the scars shape into beautiful lines of victory. In other words, holding on to the good of what once was, and understanding the bad so that in future, these scars don’t reopen. 

Last, but not least, look around you! And no, I’m not saying to look at the ashes and rubble of what once was… but look at your surroundings! See the horizon beyond the wall of emotions you built? See the sun rising and lighting up the darkness? What about the fresh air that you inhale as you realize how stifling the atmosphere was while you were in tears? God places people, things and even His Word right there before you to help you through your hard times… So stop focusing on what’s gone by; He already has a plan for life after the death of your situation! Be keen to look out for it…

I hope I blessed someone out there, and that they could learn to let go; or rather, learn to let letting go happen.. 😀 I love you all!!!

Matters of ‘her’ heart: First Impressions

Before I begin, I just want to apologize for not blogging these past two days. I’ve been trying to do at least something everyday, but I was stopped by a simple math equation:

Hectic Schedule + Sickness = No Blog :/

So without further ado, lets get right into it, shall we? Hopefully I won’t die after this; I believe she tried to get me to stop after just the first one… but I press!

 In that space where we were fated to meet, there was an overflow of information to absorb. I was in a new place with new people; some familiar faces but not one of them that I could safely call my friend. Nature surrounded us, distancing myself even from the city voices that I was accustomed to. You could say that in that space, at that specific point in time, I was truly alone.

Time rolled on, and before I knew it, it was morning, and scheduled for us was our devotions. I picked my place close to the back, preferring to be out of the potential spotlight as I always do. For some reason I  expected to be sitting alone, seeing as how I wasn’t familiar with anyone just yet. It turns out I was wrong, for she decided that I would be the perfect person to sit next to. How she came to that conclusion I don’t know, or whether or not she even thought about it, but that was simply what happened. And so she became my ‘Seat Buddy’ from then on.

Due to the nature of the sessions we had (or perhaps me just being me) we didn’t speak much, but I did notice certain things. She wore a lot of bracelets and often dressed colorfully, and so in my mind, she was always bright and welcoming. She had a nice laugh, and a broad smile; beautiful accents to any beautiful face. When she got bored, she would start scribbling in her paper with little stars and hearts and other random  things. It all came together to form this painting of this happy girl who has been blessed by God to have such a joy springing forth from within her that it invades the lives of those around her. I knew that for sure, her joy was invading me, and I began to look forward to her company during our sessions. This mysterious girl and I had formed some connection; a device of my own imagination I know, but it was still there to me, and I entertained myself with that thought.

Outside of our training sessions, our paths barely crossed, if ever at all. There was the occasional card game,  group conversation or meet up in heading to our respective destinations. I noted her voice in one of our worship sessions, that it sounded nice but I wasn’t really focused on it to say more. Also, there was her clef pendant, so I concluded she likes music, or plays some musical instrument.

It was not till the very last day of our retreat from my world that I realized that I barely new anything of hers. I couldn’t even say that I knew her middle name… where she came from, what she likes, what she dislikes… the fact that my seat buddy and I were nothing more than that haunted me. I had absolutely nothing to take away with me to remember my experience with her, and since we both came from different Universities, it was likely that I would never see her again. Snaking through the bustling activity of everyone getting on the bus departing for our school, I resolved that I should at least say goodbye, especially if I’d never see my seat buddy again. The conversation was short. I hailed her out. She asked if I was leaving. I said yes; she said bye, returning to whatever activity had occupied her on her cell. I turned around, not hurt or disappointed in any way, but appreciative of one simple fact.

There was nothing between us.

Sometimes, we tend to make whims and fancies about people, and let their “first impressions” dominate our thoughts about who they are, and what they mean to us. Perhaps in the way it was stated, she may sound a bit heartless at the end, but she really wasn’t, and I thought it important to state that but getting back to the topic, as you journey with me through this experience, you’ll see for yourself how much of what I saw was true and what was not. Especially if you’re looking to someone to begin starting a relationship, trusting upon their “first impressions” is something you should NEVER do. You need to really get to know someone before you enter a relationship, and trust me; if you mean anything to them like they do you, they’ll wait till the time comes 🙂

So I hope I blessed someone by sharing my experience, and as always, that I live to write you all another one after she sees this :p Stay blessed, stay strong, and stay you! Love you all 🙂

 Image