His Heart

It’s right here;

its been here all along…

Beating..

resonating in still, small song.

begging, to be heard.

The Voice of love

whispering my worth.

Tenderly.

So calm, it waits..

Patiently for us to stir

to waken to the truth.

He is here.

Be still, and know that He is God.

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Real Talk: Howdy Neighbour!

One thing I love about God: He likes to give a test after the lesson.

Today in our campus Christian club (hereafter mentioned as IVCF) we looked upon the parable of the good Samaritan. A few things stood out to me then in that time:

  • How hard it is for us to follow instructions
  • How little attention we pay to things when we read
  • A certain truth that I always ignored because of the above

So, when called upon to present the findings of what each group had learned with their time in the Word, all came up with beautiful answers, what with showing compassion to our neighbours and demonstrating the love of Christ and how we need to take the extra step and show kindness to our enemies…

Such beautiful words…

Having left, I roamed about before one of my classes where to begin. locating a bench with music humming sweet songs in my ear, I hear an eerie voice, “EEEEEEEEXCUUUUUUSSSSEEEEEE MEEEEEE!”

To be honest, I really didn’t hear it that well, but being the smart person I am,  I was able to do some common sense operations and as we like to say in our country, put two and two together, and deciphered the nature of the situation. There was a differently abled person calling out, no doubtedly to me. In uttermost priest-like fashion, I simply ignored and sat down. God, being the sovereign ruler He is, couldn’t just let me sit there peacefully. In no time at all my mind played through each and every moment spent within the safety of that room, hearing all those preacher words that sound so nice but tend to slip through the cracks of my comfort zone. Each point, some so wonderfully executed by my very own preacher-lips, boring hole after hole into my self righteousness.

A saying a pastor gave in our church just this Sunday was the last nail in the coffin:

“If someone doesn’t share their faith with others, their salvation itself is left to be questioned.”

I stood up. Turns out the guy was trying to sell off some items to support himself, and so I patronized. With a smile, I wished him a blessed day and went off to class. Even now I wish I had done more, but I was thankful that I at least made an effort; something I wouldn’t have done before, for certain.

One thing that I recalled in that scripture, was that Jesus didn’t ask the lawyer who the Samaritan’s neighbour was, but rather whom was neighbour to the man who was left  to die. God doesn’t just want us to love our neighbours, He wants us to BE neighbours! In this day and age, it’s easy to be a priest and a Levite; preaching to the choir so we can hear those soulful amen’s and hallelujah’s that make us “feel” good but be no better than the other guy who fell asleep in the service because he was up late watching porn… He wants us to be neighbours; close to the people, real to the people, but above all that: love to the people. We need to be out there; if there is a need, we should be the one’s trying to help out (whether in our fancy suits or out) and really give of ourselves for the good of others.

I was glad to offer even just a “cup of water” in His name, and to represent IVCF in a good light, rather than bear iniquity to both myself, my group and my God. We already have enough hypocrites in this world, and I need to stop being one of them. So the next time you see your preacher/Levite friends, take them out for a Good Samaritan fellowship… that way, when the world sees you, they won’t scoff and turn their nose at you, but say, “Howdy Neighbour!”

Be the change! Love you all 😀

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Matters of ‘her’ Heart: Semester break

Wow. I honestly can’t remember how long it’s been since I’ve done this! I think it’s more for the the lack of content and the backdrop of me going back to school, but nevertheless, here I am… still breathing (for now 😉 )

So the muse of my holidays and I have taken what one may refer to as a back seat in the theatre of life, watching our own separate renditions of University. In the twinkling of an eye, schedules filled, stress built and inevitably, our communication fell apart. Perhaps there were some other factors that contributed to this rent in our relations, but in my esteem, these definitely take precedence. The static from her station left me with no choice but to simply focus on my own life for the time being, setting into motion those little maintenance checks that if left unnoticed for too long could destroy you.

A welcome break indeed.

Having but the memory of the responsible, level headed and purpose driven woman I saw in her ministry launch, there was a new light that had dappled some of her dark unknown. She seemed then to be focused; alert and truly positioned where she was meant to be at that time. I both applauded and admired her for that. It felt as a complete contrast to me (though some may disagree) for I know that when it comes to taking charge, I’m not the usual suspect in such matters, although I do drive projects from behind the scenes like a champion, if I do say so myself 🙂

In recent days, she has returned as a faint blip on my radar, there yes, but her presence not as dominant as it used to be. I paid a visit to her campus just last week, to support one of their Christian club activities, and once again; that leadership quality sprung up from within her. Sitting in the audience, I felt challenged (aside from the fact that I could just tell she was going to pick on me) and remembered just why she intrigues me so much. Truly she knows how to push my buttons, and if I wasn’t wise to this fact, I could be have been caught in so many traps on that day. I just knew that exactly where she is is where God has placed her, and I’m thankful for that.

We shared a bit of sentiments about the past we had developed, and even as I go about each day, residual memories prick my mind in rebellion against the sands of time that try to exfoliate them away with the demands of my present. They always tease a smile from my lips, and I do hope that there would be a future for me where such memories can be forged once again in the fires of destiny. Of, course, patience will have it’s perfect work, and I will gladly accept whatever cards  God wishes to deal to me.

It’s important that we cherish moments while they last; for you never know what the future holds. As much as possible, remind those you care about what they mean to you, and try your best not to leave their presence in bad terms. You learn from the past and work on the present, but the future is something that you just don’t know about… good luck guys!

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Real Talk: The Struggle of the ministry

ImageI whimsically muse over the distant past; days when I would sit comfortably in my wee little pew and take in all the vibrant sensations that blasted my consciousness on a Sunday morning. Those were the days when I would mourn not being involved more; circumstance was my hindrance, my bane and in some cases, my blessing. Now, I find myself missing those days sometimes. 

Why do I miss them? Well, it’s not that hard to figure out if you think about it. Having switched from the paradigms of my past to the pressures of today, I find myself not just involved in the ministry of the church, but immersed in it. Fully. Whenever certain events present themselves to me, their tasty entrées on silver platters must be rejected because of “obligations”. Personally, this isn’t much of a problem; I welcome the sacrifice, although at times, it does endeavour to dampen your jolly mood. The time constraints, however, do pose an incredible threat to my well being, especially as a student… but alas, no one ever said that responding to the ‘call’ was going to be easy. 

The sum total of all these issues is but a molehill to the mountain that is my struggle incarnate. When you are on the ‘pew side’ of things, you are in for the time of your life. You leave refreshed, ministered to and ready to take on another week, God willing. But what of those who minister? The pulpit experience is quite different, in my esteem. (Mind you, I’m not just talking about the preacher of the day, but the worship team, musicians, moderators and the like). In fact, it can sometimes feel the exact opposite. It takes something out of you to do what you do up there, and often (for me) it leaves you drained, and in need of a refreshing yourself. 

When you get involved in the ministry, you just can’t rely on the ‘pew’ life any more. If you’re anything like me, life on pewside is but a figment of your imagination; depending on the anointing of what’s ‘up there’ is not an option, cause you’re ‘up there’ facilitating it! If you try to simply wing it and live off the crumbs that you realize you used to get from just sitting there in the audience, you’ll crash into the ground with a fireball of weariness. It’s hard to develop a habit of making it a personal experience with God, especially with the rough timetable that comes with maintaining both your ministry and your own life,   but without it, you won’t give the people what they deserve. 

My advice: just do it! Stop making excuses… you know you have time, so stop lying to yourself! There are times when you just want to relax after a long day, but what’s stopping you from relaxing in the presence of the Most High God? If you really love God, and aren’t just trying to serve because it seems to be the right thing to do, you’d totally make time for Him. So DO IT! Go on… I’ll wait 🙂

So I hope this blesses someone out there.. I know it blessed me! For more real talk, just click here 😀

Stay blessed folks!

Questions

Beautiful thoughts from a beautiful writer 😀

Mirror of Her Mind

What if, right now, Christ were to walk into this room

My eyes wet and red

Heart heavy and hollow

Right now, with my

Imperfections sectioned out on the table

Accumulating because I am unable

To crop and delete them

Nip and tuck them

Or Make up them

What if, right now, Christ were to walk into this room ?

As I sniff sniff up my running emotions

Midway through me sweaping up

My flaking fears

Exposing my misplaced cares

With my heart…the heart he gave me

Laying on the floor

Accidentally breaking it some more

Would He shun me?

Pity me?

Hold me?

Judge me?

Would he deem my heart unfixable

And my imperfections unforgetable?

Or can I be mended

Can the cycle be ended?

Would He shun me?

or Love me

Or hug me

or point out exactly

all that is ungodly with no remedy

Would he care…

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It’s just not me

Hey guys! I feel like I haven’t boarded the blog train in a while, and thought I’d share a poem for you all. It’s been a while since I’ve written one frankly, and so I just feel this burning desire in me to get something out. Anyone else feels like that sometimes? Anyway, this one’s called “It’s just not me”. Hope it blesses someone out there 🙂

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Fallen, broken, accused,

toppled by self; self abused.

the onomatopoeia echoes within guilty nostalgia…

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

With each pound

blood curdling screams resound

as with each fall, i hurt myself.

I mess up and brim cups

full of the wine I press

forced to ingest

the rewards of the lust of the flesh

As I fall to shame.

I have no one to blame

but myself.

Piled upon this mix

with a fruity twist

is the accuser of the brethren

using my tongue as a vehicle

To drive thoughts of evil

within my wretched soul,

mind tricked

with the sweet twix

that tasted so good but left me bitter.

It made my soul quiver.

How can I stand

claiming to be a righteous man

falling yet an eight time

My crime, not that I fell

but refused to get up

caught in quicksand but not willing

afraid that I’ll mess up.

Thank God it’s not left up to me

because i’d still be living in that sand sea

because, you see

that there…  it’s just not me.

God said I’m above and not beneath

and though quicksand troubles my feet

I can stand on a rock

that sees me fall but doesn’t let me drop..

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

went the nails and then into the tomb

blood and water gushed out…

They saw him fall too.

but He pulled through

rose and lives true

to the promise that God ensured.

Because He now lives in me

I have a guarantee

that today, I am free.

No longer the old man,

for which Satan reminds me of

but a blessed heir,

who may fall but can stand up

I was lost, but now I’m found

I know who I am, and now

I hear totally new sounds.

House Fire, Burn Ward, Blessing

THE CHRISTIAN PUNDIT

IMG_5588 Last month my parents were visiting us when the police called them, from their home phone. There had been a fire at their house; their youngest son, still living at home, his friend, and my mother’s father had all been hospitalized. My brother had been badly burned on his hand and foot rescuing my grandfather and trying to put out the fire. When the police called, he was on his way by ambulance to a burn unit in a larger city; surgeons would operate on him as soon as possible.

That sort of news, and its implications, is difficult to process out of the blue. It’s over the past few weeks that we’ve been able to see the situation more clearly. As we look back, some things stand out clearly—the good, the bad, and the beautiful.

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Chronicles of the Student: Assignment Overlord

 

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It was all fine and dandy until the macabre of school assignments gnashed it’s putrid fangs at me. All I could do was stare; bite by bite it devoured all of my free time. Nothing could satiate the hungry wolf like creature as it’s chronological appetite grew and grew; it was as if the worms that infested it’s body could no longer be abased. At first, it was subtle. I have time, I thought to myself as the beast approached. Before I knew it, it pounced upon all my schedules and free time like if it had a right to.
Perhaps it did.

With nothing but my wits, a pen and a keyboard, I stand my ground. I REFUSE to be a reproach to my own honour; I committed myself to getting through this dungeon, and I will. We stand face to face now, it watching me intently and feeling me out. I test the waters myself; looking it over to see just what I was up against. Deadlines streaked its body: complex patterns adorning its black, fetid hide, rotting more and more as each second goes by. I fought the urge to wretch… I mustn’t show fear…
Looking back at the tools in my hands, I knew that it’s not going to be easy, but if I play my cards right, I’ll get through this. I faced a ton of battles thus far. I have the scars to show it too; some low grades marring the transcripts engraved in my armour; It’s not pretty to look at, but it’s still intact. I CAN do this…

BAM! Without warning it attacked. I evaded, scared half out of my wits as to its speed and ferocity. The time for games had long gone. This was a time when I had no choice but to stop loitering within the recesses of my mind and start gutting at this creature with everything I have.

“I hope you’re ready, you piece of scum,” I declared, half scared but trying my best to act cool, “Because here I come!!!!

Deeper In You

It gives me mixed emotions posting this… As our band’s second original song, it didn’t mean as much to me until this week when we actually performed it. Well you know what they say, He works in mysterious ways! It was only after having stumbled and then falling that I realized how much more I want to dwell deeper in the presence of Jesus Christ, having His love cover the multitude of my sins. So I hope you enjoy!

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https://www.facebook.com/CrsCulture