Well, wow. It’s been centuries since my last post, or at least that’s how it feels. What with final exams in University and the hustle and bustle that comes with the Christmas season augmenting my occupation with life, there’s been little (if any) time to relax. There’s been just too much between everyday for me to find myself behind this computer to cleanse myself of the world of issues that plague my usually tranquil waters; even my close friends noticed a slight ‘edge’ within my words… but I digress.
VACATION IS HERE!!!!!
The time of anxious tension gnawing at my lungs, choked with stale air and longing for a breath of simple oxygen is over, and I need not dwell on them any longer. I am now free to breathe, open my eyes to gaze out into the vastness of God’s creation… our Earth is just wonderful, isn’t it? I really was drained to the dregs with my recent endeavours, which from my experience I only realize when I’m lying there feeling like a hollow, heavy log in the middle of the forest with no rations left to me but the grace that keeps me alive. It’s important to acknowledge the seasons in your life where you just need to stop, relax and take a nice detox from all your troubles.
As such, I’ve decided to take a recap of my wonderful year in 2013, slightly because I was inspired by someone to do it, and also because I’d love to share with you guys my perspective on what was, in anticipation for what is to come 🙂
Thinking about it now, I don’t even know where to begin… going in to this year, I was a mess… I literally had to take time out to sort myself out because my emotional state was in shambles; love, pain and disappointment common themes in my life around then. It was these emotions that spurred me toward getting closer to a now very good friend, who still has some ways to go herself in that regard. My walk with God was quite easygoing, and from my viewpoint now, I was just another lamb heading for the slaughter; thinking it was all okay, when the only person I was fooling was myself. That was when, like so many times before, that God decided to step in. I was offered a position as a cell group leader in my school for a Christian club. Honestly speaking, I thought that it wasn’t really for me, but in the end I decided to join.
And friends, I am happy to say I was wrong on so many levels 🙂
The training camp alone was enough to spin my life completely round on it’s axis. I met people whom I view not as friends, but family, was challenged out of my comfort zone and into a place so foreign that I had to trust in God to light my way. Loads of responsibility was heaped on my shoulders, and for the first time, I rejoiced for the trials that came my way. I could safely say that during that summer holiday, I was crafted into a man that God could be proud of; reliable, responsible and seeking more of Him. I was a walking testimony in front of my family, that alone being a blessing.
You all know about my experiences with ‘her’, and so I wouldn’t even bother to get into it, but to say that she had a part to play in my grooming in God’s eyes, along with all the other little pebbles placed in my path to walk on. When the semester began, I wasn’t prepared for the workload that came my way, especially with my new responsibilities in hand. Having come straight off work and into the semester wasn’t much of a help either, but God’s grace still carried me through. It was mid semester when God stopped showing me about growth and learning to place trust in others and not just self, but began teaching me a thing or two about surrender.
Giving up things that you work hard to earn is never easy; you feel as if you deserve it- that you’re entitled to it – when in reality, every good thing comes from Him, and He can ask them of you in a heartbeat. How many of us are willing to give up these things in that same beating of the heart? In all the exhaustion, my life was just a living wreck… it was interesting that God wanted not just the things I enjoyed, but those that I reviled as well.. He want’s all of us, in as much as we should desire all of Him.
So what’s next, you ask? Good question! For now, simply to enjoy all that God has placed in my life in this moment, as well as to ask for direction as to what He would like to see in 2014 from me. I am proud to say that the man I am now is far better than the man I was in 2012, and with that in mind, I’m stoked to see what becomes of me next year, God willing. I hope you are too, for I am absolutely going to be posting my heart out in the hopes that someone can identify with it and be encouraged for the future. Isn’t that what it’s all about?
A most merry Christmas to all, and A bright and prosperous new year to you, my readers. I do pray that I can get to know you all better, and that you all will learn more of me; perhaps things that I myself don’t know as yet 🙂 Who know’s what going to happen next year? God does!
(it doesn’t snow in the Caribbean, so no winter picture for you either :p )