*dusts off cobwebs from blog screen*

Hello everyone!!!! I know it’s been quite far too long for me. I feel like when you just wash your hands and go out into the AC… so cold and awkward! I missed you all, but sometimes, life (or a lack thereof) gets in the way. With projects, productions and exams (which I should be studying for right about now) cramping up your time, it’s often not that easy to find the time to write about all the things that  go on in your life. It’s quite funny that I’d say that. I remember spending time just like now in my room writing in a little book of mine about my adventures as a youth with nothing to gain but stains upon pages that expressed his yearnings for more than just the four  walls that mocked him each day. It’s important to take time out to reflect upon life, isn’t it?

It’s also important to study!

Today I’ve been reflecting on many a journey to reach the shoes that I now fill.

 

My girlfriend was practising a dance for this song today. I watched her carry out her routine, with little glimpses into my laptop screen to do work although it should have been the other way around, and I was bombarded by an array of feelings that I’m yet to assert myself. The vigour and passion embodied within that little frame of hers, combined with the grace and elegance to which it was executed had an effect on me. The first thing that hit me was wow, she is quite the beauty. Then, there’s perhaps nothing more beautiful than someone giving their all for God’s glory. And last, but not least, He (Jesus) want’s it all.

It inspired a tingling on the inside, that was quite familiar. The last time I felt this was days before we got together, and I enlisted her help in counselling a friend of mine, whom she’s now close to. I’ve talked to this person time and time again, but having her there helped so much… it was unbelievable. My friend tells me now that people like us give her hope for life, and that is no light compliment. That sensation then was for me a hope for a future filled with God given purpose for our lives as a unit; working together within the design and framework that he deemed fit for us. I’ve been elected to be the president of the Christian club I’m always talking about, IVCF, and she’s on the executive for this year’s proceedings. The nostalgia can’t help but highlight the excitement of a great year to come!

But enough of that for now.

Perhaps you weren’t looking for me to get all mushy now, but I can’t help myself sometimes. Within that plethora of emotions was that love I had for her. When I saw her in those moments, she wasn’t just the person I fell in love with. She was a vessel, infused with God’s love, power and purpose. She was sure in what she wanted, and in what she was doing. There was no fear, no doubt and no hurt. Just an expression of love and joy. Within that gap, she brought me out of the experiences of life’s hardships to a place where there was but three; she, God and myself. We held hands, basking in the shimmering glory of His presence. The air was crisp, the warmth of light like an evening sunset divine… a smile creased my lips.

You may not understand how much this meant to me at that particular point in time, for like me, you weren’t able to see things too clearly. My life felt dark. Responsibilities and obligations plagued me, not to mention a group project that torments my thoughts every time it finds itself there. I was able to slip out, and breathe. Okay, so maybe I could have gotten a bit mushier, but hey, time’s a wasting! Never lose sight of those special people in your life that help you see brighter days, because when dark times come, you never know what might pull you through.

Hope you enjoyed guys! Love you all 🙂

 

 

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Blood Moon; A Bloody End?

Well I don’t know about you, but all this blood moon talk has got us Christian folk somewhat fired up. You see, it is our belief that this is indeed just another sign of the times we live in, and that Jesus is coming back for His homies pretty soon. My girlfriend showed me a scripture in acts that said:

Acts 2:20(NIV)

“The sun will be turned to darkness and the moon to blood before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord

Pretty hardcore, right? So there is some speculation about whether there is some globally impacting event that is soon approaching, but all the hubbub is not what I really wanted to talk about. You see, when my mother told me about it, the very first thought that came to my mind was, “Is He really coming back so soon? I’ve got work to do still!” I began tonight to really ponder my reaction. As a Christian, one should anxiously await Jesus’s return; so why was I so hesitant?

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I wish I could say that this reaction was a first for me, but it wasn’t. Mother likes to watch CNN in the morning, and often tells me all about it, saying that it’s only a matter of time before He comes for us. I’m not scared that He’d return, because I know where I stand in terms of my faith, but sometimes, I feel as if… I don’t want Him to come. At least, not yet. Knowing God, He might just come then to prove it’s not my timing but His, but nevertheless, I feel as if I haven’t had enough of “this life” as yet. I feel burdened to partake in ministry, get employed (after all, all these studies has to be for something, right?) and get married and have kids. I desire the ideal modern day Christian life. That’s not too much to ask, is it?

It didn’t take me too long to realize that I had become wrapped up in things that pertain to this life, as if it was all that ever was or will be. My endeavours and pursuits may very well be in alignment with pleasing God and all that good stuff, but what of my heart? the Bible says in Matthew 6 to lay up treasures for ourselves up in Heaven, for where our treasure is, there our hearts will be. I was acting like my harvest for my labour was down here!

Now, I’ll be frank with you all. I want to experience marriage and the joys of child rearing. I’d love to buy my first car, travel to faraway places and do all kinds of things. I won’t lie to you all either. I want to have sex. At least a couple of times. Of course, only within the framework that God deemed acceptable in His Word, but I still want to do it nonetheless. There is no guarantee that after the coming of our Lord, that these things will be available to me. It says that we won’t even be eating meat any more! I like my meat. with a side of more meat 😉

Thoughts like these had me caught up in the things that are temporary; the good book says that that which is seen is temporary but the unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:18) So, I decided to conceive of the unseen; that which is to come, when we are blessed to experience  a new Heaven and a new Earth. I could tell you this, it’s one of those things that you can’t wrap your mind around, in a good way. Thoughts of freedom, liberty, love, and best of all, being with Jesus 24/7 in a much realer sense than we are now, began to flood my mind.

Guess what, I got excited that He was coming!

Always remember that the reality that you live in now is not your final reality. Even before Jesus’s return, your reality can very well be turned upside down, and so the more treasures you store down here, the easier it is for you to suffer loss. I hope you are as inspired as I am to continue the walk of faith, running with endurance towards His pleasure, knowing that we got one heck of a future ahead once we believe. I know for sure I will 🙂

Bless you all! God loves you, and so do I! Enjoy your day, and give God praise for life; for with life, there’s hope.

To my love that I loved not

How I loved to huddle next to you
In dark rooms with bright screens
Feeding of your ravishing beauty
Ravishing
Devouring me with your charm,
Eyes locked in, crosshairs interlocking your prominent features,
Marked like a shooter for his kill.
You made me feel powerful,
Feel strong, as a man should be
You opened my eyes to see
Exactly what pleasures me
I remember the days when I’d be locked in myself
Eyes peering round,
Searching, looking
Hoping that you were just around the corner
You often found me before I looked to you,
Because you were so faithful
You ensured I was satisfied;
It didn’t matter if it hurt, because it felt so good.
What was a conscience to correct my freedom?
I’m happy, I’m free!
I will do everything to please ME!
If it’s one thing I enjoyed,
Was how you lied to me.
You made me to believe I was named man
As if all of creation was me.
I was the axis,
My joy was what moved the world
But then I noticed.
You never loved me either.
All you wanted was my time,
My soul and my mind.
Behind your parted lips and enticing breath
Was the grin of a toothy savage,
Barbaric, toxic and selfish,
Making me just like you:
Fallen.
You didn’t make me.
You never loved me, and I had a dollar for every time you made me happy
I’d live in happy vagrancy
A lovely bankruptcy
Because your identity
Is my enemy.
Locked me in to your fabulous worldwide web
Feeding me images I wanted to see
To destroy me
Take away what God deigned manly:
His image and likeness.
Holy, sanctified and cloaked in His mercy,
Because you see,
He didn’t just love me,
He is love.
You, well you were my love,
But I never loved you either…
If it makes you feel better,
I hated you for how you made me feel,
Wretched, disgusted and thirsty,
Thirsty for more of what stained me.
I hope you understand, Satan,
My love I never loved,
You do not own me,
For my sights aren’t in dark rooms anymore.
I look to marvelous lights above.

I’d share my last cookie with you

So i’ve been writing poetry for a challenge on Facebook, and on day 6 they wanted us to write a poem about our best friend. You all very well know that Jesus takes first place on the bff’s list, but because I knew that i’d probably write every single poem about Him, I’ve decided to let a few slide. Mind you He was the very first special guest in my writings, and He will feature in several others as the month goes on. So, I wrote about my best friend. Turns out, I’m in love with her 🙂 she doesn’t wear glasses (that’s mine in the pic actually) but I love the photo so much I just had to use it :p Enjoy!

I’d share my last cookie with you

Because that’s how good you are

Even though you don’t like cookies

Because I’m sharing my heart

As if that one chocolate chip blunder

Yes I know you don’t like chocolate,

Is a representation of my love

And for that you’d love it

You don’t have to eat the whole thing,

But only just a piece

Because bickering over last cookies

And other silly things

Isn’t worth breaking hearts.

But let’s just share my last cookie,

And be friends forever.

Our cookies may one day crumble,

But our hearts will always stay together.

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I don’t quite think I’d like to die

I don’t quite think I’d like to die

In the arms of my love,

I’d save her the stress of being alone

Hoping she’d go first above

I don’t quite think I’d like to die

Fighting for a nation’s cause

To leave myself as a statistical legacy

To right history’s chaotic pause

I don’t quite think I’d like to die

Ending life abruptly

For I’d like to say goodbye

To all those who love me

I don’t quite think I’d like to die

To some sickness or disease

I’d much rather die in my sleep

At peace and at ease

I don’t quite think I’d like to die

For any reason whatsoever

But I do know that I’d like to die

So that I can meet my Saviour.

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Spiritual Photoshop

Jaime knew she wasn’t perfect. She loved hanging (flirting) with the boys, because she felt that girls never really understood her. They hardly paid her any mind, to say the least. Guys, on the other hand, loved her. She knew just how to get her way with them; a little smile here and there, or even little ploys to “innocently accentuate her feminine features” as she and her best friend, Priya, would say. She was perhaps the only one Jaime could relate too, because she was “one of the guys” quite like herself. Daddy didn’t like the fact that she wasn’t a Christian, but hey, maybe Jaime’s love for God would minister to her one day and she too would come to love Him.

Right?

Jaime wasn’t your average church girl. She was THE church girl. She led the worship choir, held a position in the Youth leadership, and was on her way to becoming the leader of the Youth ministry. She knew how to get a good worship going. The boys had a crush on her, and she knew it, but kept them at arms length. Dating in church was no bueno for the position she held. The elders of the church held her in such esteem, that whenever they scolded the ‘not so innocent’ ones, they’d often say, “Why can’t you behave more like Jaime?” Needless to say, the girls in church didn’t fancy her that much either.

It was easy, living two separate lives. No one from her church went to her school, well, except for Chad, but he was nothing. All he ever did was huddle in that park bench by the garbage and read some book. He wasn’t very popular. He was like a little mouse, and, if necessary, she could have him eating out the palm of her hand, so she never saw him as a threat. Her duality of life was quite the thrill, but often quite the hassle. It was taxing to mask her traits in both settings, and she’d even wonder which one she really was. Never mind that, she’d say. I’m just enjoying life, right? There’s nothing wrong with having a little fun.

She had a good thing going, and during her second year of University she met Steven. Steven was, in summary, everything she ever wanted in a male. Strong, romantic, popular, and even a Christian to top it all off. Her parents shouldn’t find anything wrong with him, and he agreed that he would even come to church with her to appease them. Yeah, he was a bit of a nutjob and smoked when he was stressed, but he wasn’t a bad person. She’d spend late nights by his apartment and sing along to his guitar until 2 in the morning before she walked her home and kissed her goodnight for the next 10 minutes. Thank God she decided to move closer to campus so she could focus on her work, or else these nights wouldn’t have been possible. Sometimes, she’d even invite him in and they’d fool around for a bit. It wasn’t anything serious, and she made sure she stayed a virgin, despite how badly she wanted to have sex with him. She didn’t have to go to church as often as usual either, and so her “school” self had much more freedom now than before.

Life as she knew it changed however, in the blink of an eye. It started with a match, a cigarette, a graphic designer and a photo album, snowballing into an experience that changed her life forever…

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TO BE CONTINUED…