How I loved to huddle next to you
In dark rooms with bright screens
Feeding of your ravishing beauty
Ravishing
Devouring me with your charm,
Eyes locked in, crosshairs interlocking your prominent features,
Marked like a shooter for his kill.
You made me feel powerful,
Feel strong, as a man should be
You opened my eyes to see
Exactly what pleasures me
I remember the days when I’d be locked in myself
Eyes peering round,
Searching, looking
Hoping that you were just around the corner
You often found me before I looked to you,
Because you were so faithful
You ensured I was satisfied;
It didn’t matter if it hurt, because it felt so good.
What was a conscience to correct my freedom?
I’m happy, I’m free!
I will do everything to please ME!
If it’s one thing I enjoyed,
Was how you lied to me.
You made me to believe I was named man
As if all of creation was me.
I was the axis,
My joy was what moved the world
But then I noticed.
You never loved me either.
All you wanted was my time,
My soul and my mind.
Behind your parted lips and enticing breath
Was the grin of a toothy savage,
Barbaric, toxic and selfish,
Making me just like you:
Fallen.
You didn’t make me.
You never loved me, and I had a dollar for every time you made me happy
I’d live in happy vagrancy
A lovely bankruptcy
Because your identity
Is my enemy.
Locked me in to your fabulous worldwide web
Feeding me images I wanted to see
To destroy me
Take away what God deigned manly:
His image and likeness.
Holy, sanctified and cloaked in His mercy,
Because you see,
He didn’t just love me,
He is love.
You, well you were my love,
But I never loved you either…
If it makes you feel better,
I hated you for how you made me feel,
Wretched, disgusted and thirsty,
Thirsty for more of what stained me.
I hope you understand, Satan,
My love I never loved,
You do not own me,
For my sights aren’t in dark rooms anymore.
I look to marvelous lights above.

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