Picture a nice family dinner. It doesn’t have to be your family, if family dinners aren’t your thing. The table is set with the centerpiece removed to herald the coming of a steamy, plump rotisserie, its vapors enveloping the room with the fragrance of fine meet. Sitting next to it is a Pyrex dish filled to the brim with some fine baked beans, marinating in a sauce that you find simply divine. The rotisserie is staring back at you, beckoning to be eaten. The rest of the food fades into black, as you zero in on your meaty desires, when in your lust…. CLANG! You hastily knocked over that Pyrex dish, leaving a puddle of beany guilt that for some strange reason, still manages to give you gas although you didn’t eat it. You perhaps snuck a little flatulence as you profusely apologized for breaking this prized possession of family tradition, scampering around for napkins, cloths or whatever you can rummage to somehow facilitate the damage control. Despite it all, you know that you can’t repair the dish to what it was, and most likely, mom isn’t going to forget about this and you’ll be hearing this for generations to come. Your grandchildren might even hear about this! Yet, all this time, the corner of your eye is fixated upon the throne of what you want… the rotisserie still beckons you, seducing you to salivation…
Quite the messy situation, isn’t it?
I’m pretty sure you’re thinking after all that, that you are NEVER spilling the beans again. Through all the embarrassment, the hurt you caused to your mother and the effect it had on you that somehow every time the entire family gets together for a barbeque, or for a beach lime with a bess pelau, mom always brings it up, and your cheeks flush red with disdain. You wish you could take it back. You wish perhaps to be able to get a new Pyrex dish to replace the old one, though in your heart you know it will never be the same in her eyes. In fact, it might just be a constant reminder to her of that time when you spilled the beans… At least you had some rotisserie, right? Nevertheless, as you go on in life, if you ever had messy experiences like these, you’d probably think twice before taking a crack at that leg again. You are aware that proceeding could have negative consequences, and so, rather than go in pursuit of that favorite piece of meat, you sit back and let it come to you, finding the risk a little bit too risky.
Relationships are a lot like family dinners. You may want that special piece of meat, and without being sensitive to those around you, you might end up hurting somebody. Ironically enough, I’m not here to tell you to play it safe. I want you to spill the beans! You see, we all mess up in life, and so there is bound to be hurt, whether it is you who receives it or deals it. When the beans are spilt, it’s there for everyone in the room to see; and it’s not a pretty sight. The hurt is made known, and it is only at this point that healing can take place. It may never be the same, just like with that Pyrex dish, but that doesn’t mean you should hide it, because from the time that hurt is inflicted, it isn’t the same anyway. For all you know, life after “the beans” can be better than before them! It’s especially important to spill the beans if it’s your Pyrex dish that was damaged in the pursuit of rotisserie (That probably made very little sense, but just go along with it, ok?). When you are wronged, whomever wronged you may not even know they did, and so it’s important for you to tell them. Sometimes, they don’t even need to be the one at fault; just letting someone else know that you are hurting often helps a lot more than it should. The more you hold on to your beans, the heavier your Pyrex gets. And all that may lead to is more hurt.
Last night my girlfriend and I were reminiscing about the good old days. You know, the times just before you got together and were still in that phase of staying up late at night, staring at the ceiling and wondering if they think about you as much as you do them, and flirting while trying to make it look like you’re not because you don’t want to give them that power over you and all that good stuff. Somehow, that conversation took a turn whereby we not only talked about the great stuff, but some of the insecurities we had, and the stuff that hurt us during the course of our journey together. You’d be surprised at what you find out by simply spilling the beans! Overall, the experience brought us closer together than apart, even though personally it was difficult for me to bring up certain things, feeling that somehow it would be to my detriment. Without communication, life with a special partner is impossible.
Of course, it also reminds me of my relationship with my heavenly Father. He never held out on me, but I know for sure, I held out on Him. When I’d falter I’d wade in the guilt instead of spilling the beans, and if you think about it, it’s kind of like keeping beans in your pockets so that it won’t come out. That isn’t a pretty sight, is it? Needless to say, without communication with Jesus Christ, life on earth would be impossible. His words spoke life into us, and in Him we move and live and have our being. So why not spill the beans? 1 john 1:9 says that if we confess our faults, He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I find that amazing.
So, when last have you spilled the beans to the significant people in your life? It may not be pretty, but at least you got a piece of that meat, right? And that’s a mighty fine thing indeed. I love you guys! And I’m going to TRY to get some order in this here blog. So I do pray you look forward to that! Have a nice day everyone!
(Photocredit to http://pinktrashtravels.blogspot.com/2011/04/spilling-beans.html)