I know I’m not okay
That I need a measure of grace to survive
That in these eyes, I’m selfish.
I’m filthy, corrupt and in need of someone
To lead the way.
It was never a question of if I could.
But how long I could last before I recognized
That I was empty.
Full of interests, hobbies and the like
Occupied but lifeless nonetheless.
I need You to breathe into me.
Take me to that place where shackles are but imaginations
And not the sorcery that my mind conjures
To rapture me to the heavens of my ignorance,
That I’d be flying in lonely skies.
Only to be brought low to the mammoth of a graveyard
That is my failure.
Decrepit. Desolate and dry.
Consume me to the point where there’s no me left
Just a brain seeking zombie
Craving wisdom, beginning with the fear of the Lord
Taking baby zombie steps, thrilled to know
That my paths are finally straight and narrow
With no emotion but the passion You’ve shared for ages
The one that makes me blush.
Even when I live in my darkest days,
You still teased a smile from my lips.
Well I’m standing here now,
Limp from life’s waves.
Crashed against the bluffs of my self righteousness.
You’ve taken me to Your shores countless times
But I guess I squint too much when the sun’s in my eyes.
My heart is Yours. You know that.
But now I surrender my mind to You, my will.
My fleshly desires and the lusts that remain still;
Take them, for I never did that much with them anyway,
And I know You know far better what You’re doing.
Hold my hand, and guide me.
Bear with me, for I’m prone to stumbling.
Help me to rise again every time,
And please… please don’t let me go.