Real Talk: The rigors of change


So I’m sitting by my desk after a session of cleaning some of my drawers (mind you I’m not done yet, but decided to take a break while listening to a video on procrastination…. yes, I know, I’m procrastinating) and I’ve been thinking a lot about change. A popular saying is that the only constant in life is change, and I’m left here, bewildered at how many articles of the past still remain within my six drawers that I clearly don’t use or need. I’m not just yet ready for a minimalist kind of life, but I’m pretty open at this point to throwing some of these things out. They’ve outstayed their welcome, and only serve to invite dust and cobwebs and those little insect creatures that everybody knows about but don’t know what they are called when you leave old papers lying around for too long.


In my moment of respite, I’m left to wonder the circumstances of my own life in the
quiet and stillness of a Sunday evening about those things that perhaps have overstayed their welcome. Having very much transitioned into the rigors of adulthood, there is this heavy weight of realizing that just about all the circumstances surrounding you are in your control, or are as a result of the actions that you choose. There’s no buffer from your parents anymore; it’s your mess, and your job to clean it, much like this desk I’m procrastinating on.

So what keeps us back?

Personally, I feel as if there’s still a bit of an illusion that these things are not that big of a deal. Things like saving up for the future, and paying close attention to your health, oftentimes introduce complications in your life that you are not always ready for. You find it difficult to incorporate them into your daily routines, which are more often than not seemingly packed to capacity as it is. Then there’s the gravity of knowing that you need to choose the direction that you want your life to go, and that there’s no one to do it for you. Up until recently there was always the easy choice: go to school, study for the test, pass the test, graduate… but now, the world is your oyster and you have no idea where to start.

I really admire those who had the foresight and resilience to charter their course from the get go, but I’m sure I’m not the only person who kind of just stumbled into the path that they’re currently treading on, and not a hundred percent sure that they should continue to stumble into their future.For those people, it feels like there is this little creature looming over their head that whispers for them to get their lives in order, and the more they ignore it, the more it fills their inner self with dread and fear and discontent with their current situation, but for the most part, they continue to ignore it.

I believe it is vital to be intentional about everything that we do. Our jobs, our recreation and our relationships, so as to plot our courses toward what we wish to achieve, and better yet, for what God wants us to achieve. The latter is often the hard part, because our dreams of grandeur don’t always line up with His plans of us being His humble servant. But let us run with perseverance the race marked out before us, trusting through faith that God has a plan for us, and that in the end, we will have joy everlasting.







You ever feel like you’re not good enough?
I have. It’s been rough trying to tough it out there where no one cares
And all your luck brings you are bad circumstances.|
No matter how much times you chance it
Failure keeps coming back like some bad romance.
It’s not that fun now is it?
I don’t know about you, but I tend to feel like Jonah.
His persona is tied to one who tried to
Do it on his own, but God had different plans.
It took a great fish to help him understand his death wish of trying to appose his maker
And in the end he was angry because God was a savior instead of a bringer of fire and brimstone.
I perspire when I think about purpose.
It always has this eerie ring to it like if the Holy Spirit gonna come in like a wrecking ball and go all hadoken!
On your plans and all you can do is tremble as he says hey.  Ninevah. Now.
Yet somehow I always come around and i don’t know how but it just leaves you in awe of who God is.
As you reminisce of his goodness and the way leaves you breathless as you’re drowning with feet off the ground
Heart pounding eyes on his hand reaching out to o ye of little faith.
And you put a little faith and start to make baby steps on oceans deep
And creep to your daddy with tears in your eyes cause the storms came in and left you shaken and all you can do is crawl to Him.
I don’t know about you but I’m all to familiar with that weakness.  But that’s when He is strong.
There’s something about  being as weak as chaff that causes that fire to burn.
Despite your reluctance the Holy Spirit comes up with just the right heat to set you ablaze.
He instills a crazed desire in your heart to be a part of his great mission, and big fish or no, there’s a fire shut up in your bones
And to  that Ninevah you go, knowing Who is in control.
You know that as you march your nemesis brings the genesis of his plots to lead you into captivity
But no weapon formed against thee will prosper.
Little did he know that your exodus draws nigh, and while he might be vex with us,
Who vex loss because the boss has already spoken when he said it’s done…
It’s finished.
And your spirit jumps for joy as you employ yourself to be used by him once again.
Despite your anxiety Christ brought the remedy of love power and a sound mind
As he was so inclined to see us at his side that he died at the cross for us.
So go.
You might be a failure like me,
But God brings the victory and his comforter is right there to assure your safety.
So go.
You might be afraid of how you’d be seen but he sees you
and smiles as you choose to not give in.
So go,
Let him guide you
And don’t try to act like you’re in control. Just go.
Be still and know that He is God,
And he’s greater than any force of nature that would raise their hand against you.