What is this? What is this that persists
To tease tears out my eyelids like A group
Of kids impoverished round about a dried up faucet;
Why is it that every facet of my life leaks?
Why are there rivers of crying water that cannot be shut up
Cause it was pressed down, shaken together and now running over
to the hundred folds in my abdomen;
In critique of my acumen to press toward high marks
But when He calls I fall short and graze my knees…
I’m crying please give me a break!
Put a stop to the gushing drops of the ball,
Hands slippery trying to stop the discharge of melancholy
Fully aware of the folly yet confused as to the mystery
As to how did I get so far.
Stuck depths below par in a hole scarred by failed attempts
To time and time again reach the bar
Sunken in misery; awakened to the epiphany
That I have reached the epitome of depression.
I’m typically hard on my self;
And so I’m hard pressed for answers;
you could say I’m wine pressed;
Cause all I’ve ever wanted was what was best for those around me;
Hands full in service with no strength left for the diamond of my psyche;
Crushed in the futility and sinking in an ocean of uncertainty.
I don’t know what is wrong with me.
Asking if I’m ok doesn’t help me because I know that I’m not,
But I don’t know why.
Can’t miss the water cause I’m welling up with legitimate smears:
I’m brushing my tears back.
Hands full, Mind tired and no rest in sight.
Rolling in my bed till 4:35 with insomnia as company
Hoping like the sun I will rise.
One Day I will, for I know joy comes in the morning.
but for now I’ll remain in mourning.