Contemplation by the Mountainside

Maybe I’m the one that misses you.
Maybe in my world,
The dust that settled on this barren rock
Shifted just a little.
Maybe there’s little murmurs under the surface,
Little flutters and gentle twitches alight on still grass.
Maybe there’s magma bubbling up,
As plates shift and drift apart,
Lava lifting to the surface.
Maybe
Just maybe
There’s love.

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[Quiet] Time

Very recently I was blessed with the opportunity to visit our sister isle Tobago in order to attend a three day seminar on Biblical Preaching. It was an adventure in of itself, what with me falling ill just before departure and it affecting my voice drastically as the days progressed, and I’m still recovering but God knows what He’s doing. I’ve been so tremendously blessed during this time that  I have no complaints. The fun part about it was that the house where we were staying had no WiFi, and so the millennial in me was writhing in discomfort.

In the midst of that was a rekindling that  only the calm, peaceful shores of God’s love can bring. Being away from all the not-so-meaningful distractions of notifications and conversations that are important but could wait sometimes, I was able to interact with God’s Word so deeply and clearly that my life was cradled in the peace that passes understanding that He promises to provide. This came in a time where I’ve been feeling discouraged about my time of waiting on Him for direction. It’s easy to feel lost when you’re walking on paths unfamiliar to you; easier still to feel tired when you are unsure of where your destination is.

As I stood on the shore and took the picture above, I reflected on God’s faithfulness. I fully understood how the skies declare the glory of God as Psalm 19 says, and having studied that very psalm the same day, God reminded me how lovely and valuable His word is to Him. I quoted verse 14 then, a popular verse, that these words from my mouth and the meditation of my heart would be pleasing to Him.

 

“May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

-Psalm 19:14 [NIV]

I remember days after returning to Trinidad, where I would’ve spent the majority of the day without  giving Him the priority and place that He should’ve had. As I settled in to pray in the evening before bed, He’d gently remind me that I didn’t give Him His seat on the throne. It truly broke my heart. Like the priests in Malachi’s time, I had presented a polluted offering to Him, when He is deserving of so much more. And so I’ve been praying to increasingly love Him more, and value Him enough to  give Him what  He deserves:  my everything.

Quiet time with Christ is often one of the things we neglect so often. In a fast paced society that constantly demands our attention, we easily forfeit precious moments in prayer and bible study to the pursuit of things that are sometimes good, but not nearly as profitable. It’s often only in times of  frustration that we decide to turn to Him, when if we spent our lives seeking Him consistently, many of those situations would be avoided, and in the midst of those  we’d be comforted in the truths that the Holy Spirit brings to our remembrance.

Even as my family enters a somewhat difficult time, I’m glad to be reminded of the importance of our relationship with Christ. I’m glad to know that He is a comfort, a healer and able to do  more than I can ask or think. My prayer is that you would join me in presenting our bodies as daily living sacrifices  for His glory! Don’t worry if you don’t get it right immediately. Just keep striving. You’ll get there 🙂

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Photo credit to http://www.alittleperspective.com

I was not prepared for this

Standing here assaulted by these feelings
Wondering if to press charges or not
Because
I’m indictable, and my battery’s low.
I’m running out of juice, and I’m thirsty,
Hands holding this cup to my lips,
Trembling as I question if I should drink it
Or just pour it out as an offering
I’m full of holes and deplorable
And yet Christ calls me holy;
It’ll probably just fall out anyway.
I see it clear as day,
The reality that lies before me
Uncertain but yet so poignantly loud it’s pungent.
I turn my nose up and look away
Because it’s beautifully atrocious
I keep it in my periphery but look to God alone…
I was not prepared for this.

A heritage from the Lord.

I’ve been quite delinquent in delaying the writing of this particular post, but it’s been burning in my bones to share, and so alas, fingers glide across mechanical keyboards, and by the grace of God, some encouragement happens. As mentioned in a previous post, I made a very big decision in deciding to surrender my life to Christ, but what exactly did I decide?

Well, simply put, I decided to leave my job and the safety and security and pursue my call to missions in a very active way. I handed in my  resignation and began steps toward getting involved both missionary activities both in the short run and the long run to best use my life for His glory. It’s a grand journey, and a glorious adventure waiting to unfold.

As for the short run, my journey has led me to have various opportunities to interact with and minister to children. Throughout the experience I’ve been bombarded with the weight of how much this upcoming generation needs the love of Christ, and how vulnerable and impressionable their young minds are.

There were also some lessons along the way that I picked up. 2 Corinthians 6:2. which was a memory verse in a Vacation Bible School (VBS) programme, taught me that I don’t have to wait until some grand missons trip to get started on God’s plan for me, or the people around me. Each and every day is an opportunity to share God’s love to someone, whether that be the Gospel, and encouragement, a story, a song… As God breathes life into us every day by His mercy, we are without excuse if we keep that to ourselves.

2 Corinthians 6:2 (NIV)
“For he says, “In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you.” I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation.”

Another VBS programme led us to the book of Philippians. There, I was encouraged to not be anxious in this season, but to continue to be in communion with God. I was reminded to not be of a reluctant or complacent attitude in my service, but to take pride in the intrinsic value of serving my brother’s and sisters in Christ, as well as in spreading His Gospel to the world. These lessons proved to be very critical in this time of waiting on the Lord for direction. Your faith is challenged, but as you hold firm, God’s mercy and grace comes through in real ways and you can’t help but worship and love Him more.

Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Lastly, my experience in assisting some children with education has shown me that we all have something we can share. Ephesians 2:10 says that we are God’s handiwork; created in Him to do the things that He prepared for us in advance. We were never created to be mindless drones slaving from paycheck to paycheck; but to demonstrate God’s love and the beauty of His finished work on the cross, that all may see and know Him.

It is my hope that as God allows, that I would be able to share aspects of my journey with you, and that you would be able to be encouraged by my story. For the praying among us, there are some points that you can lift up in your quiet time, such as:

  • Direction for where God to send me as I continue my application process
  • Support to be sent to wherever He chooses me
  • Prayer for the children that were involved in the VBS programmes, that they would make a serious decision to follow Christ, and for those who have that they would continue to stand firm and represent Him in their schools and communities

Feel free to comment your prayer requests as well. Let’s pray in unity and continue to see God’s plan unfold in this world. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day!

-Zecks

 

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Fade.

My dystopia unravels before my eyes,
disintegrating world ties into dust and what I held dear with it.
If you could hear it, you’d hear drills excavating the substrate of my fear,
Catalysts to react in no other way
But trust in God alone.
In the midst are very real gems that stem from
Relationships built up before;
Constantly imploring me to be the best;
Yet locked in my chest is a dragon,
Locket abreast with insecurity that bellows
To purge them all in the same flame;
They’ll all be gone tomorrow, right?
As sandstorms rage, exfoliating security in sandy hurricanes,
I’ve been left bare as grains fade away,
Precious stones and cobble alike
Sifting between unsure fingers,
Undecided if to clench or not.
But it’s all fading away,
And I’ve rescinded all control.
My dystopia unravels before my eyes,
disintegrating world ties into dust and what I held dear with it.
If you could hear it, what would you do?

 

When all you can do is smile: Giant Steps and High Ledges

It’s not often that people have the courage to risk what they know for what they love. To me, that’s a sad thing. To know that there are things inside of you just ready and waiting to come out and show the world just how fearfully and wonderfully made you are, only to hush these notions; lips pursed against the comfort zone of daily routines and distant dreams.

Worse yet are the times when we silence the things that God breathed into us.

Back in 2015, if you were a reader of this blog back then, you may recall a blog post about a missions conference I attended. Interestingly enough, I mentioned letting go of my job, my potential future wife and [somewhat put-together] plans for my life, all for the glory of Christ. I’ve done exactly that, except for my job, and it just so happens that I spoke to one of my superiors today about letting go of my job.

Back then, God had placed something within me, that’s been burning and shut up in my bones ever since: a desire for Christian service as a missionary.  As excited as I was back then, it is only upon looking back now that I see that God was holding me to my word, masterfully pruning me until I was truly ready to give up all for Him.

With the recently passing Next Step Missions Camp hosted a couple weeks ago, that fire was once again stirred and a gentle reminder that there was nothing holding me back from answering His call other than myself, I went home and had a conversation with my family about this final decision.

I have decided to follow Jesus; I have decided to pursue His dreams.

No turning back.

I recall walking home one night prior to this camp. It was pretty late, and the bustle of the day had long waned since my departure from a taxi. Walking in the lonely road, the cool air kissed my face and not soon after I could hear God speaking, reminding me of the beauty of all that was around me. I was reminded of my purpose then, and that all these wonderful experiences that I’ve been having are but for a season. Things were no longer going to be the same, and I knew it.

I wish that I could say that there  was this miraculous encounter where I was caught up in a blinding light like Paul was, and lead right into His calling. In many ways however, I feel just like him. Paul was blind for three days, and had to rely on his companions to carry him on to Damascus. In many ways, I have no real idea of where I am going and have, both in the past and now, been encouraged and guided by friends and family in the faith. I know that I wouldn’t be where I am today if God hadn’t placed them in my life.

It’s quite the scary place to be in, feeling completely blind. Yet in the midst of it all, I have never felt so alive before. To simply be reliant on Jesus, as a child being solely dependent on His Father.  All I can do  is trust that my Ananias is coming, and that all things are working together for my good.

What about you? Is there anything that’s burning on the inside, just waiting to be released into the world?

Let it out. Be Free.

Shudder

Eyes shudder behind calculated frames.
Stutter as shutters applaud and bring you into focus,
Liquid flooding across to wash my vision clean;
Retreating back to ducts where in safety those tears may lie.
I see you.
My astigmatism not letting me focus too much but yet looking to
The future.
A
Future.
Where I
Digress. Closer to hand are plans and schemes that capture my attention
Slipping between photographs and slideshows to memories I prefer to keep inside my head.
Curiously entwined in pockets of time and places, purpose and beautiful  design
Beauty has been held within these eyes of mine
To flutter, and to escape; released to a reprieve where time and place plan to dance again; their stage a coincidence.  These rays incident on longing eyes and hopeful hearts
Clinging to thoughts that have yet to burst into reality.

I hope to see you again.

Note to Self

Rancid as the raunchy ruses of your adolescent mind

You retracted to remote locations

Ravishing your love on foreign gods.

Ferric the blood rushing to your nostrils,

It drips red and rusty; marring your innocence;

Guilt like a raging bull at the sight.

Musty from the sweat of resistance you lie,

Too strong to repel your pride,

Too weak to resist your struggle.

It’s okay to risk second glances to from varnished floors,

Rather than resorting to fresh pine wood.

Rummaging through your trash only restricts you,

Restraining you from the truth;

Learn that you are loved.

Let His love lavish you in lavender,

Relinquishing the reminiscent stains of the past.

He’ll leverage your loneliness with forces centripetal

Launching you to lovely  fields,

Labelling you fearfully and wonderfully made.

Love yourself, inhale the bouquet of your radiance,

And shine for others to see.