What is this? What is this that persists
To tease tears out my eyelids like A group
Of kids impoverished round about a dried up faucet;
Why is it that every facet of my life leaks?
Why are there rivers of crying water that cannot be shut up
Cause it was pressed down, shaken together and now running over
to the hundred folds in my abdomen;
In critique of my acumen to press toward high marks
But when He calls I fall short and graze my knees…
I’m crying please give me a break!
Put a stop to the gushing drops of the ball,
Hands slippery trying to stop the discharge of melancholy
Fully aware of the folly yet confused as to the mystery
As to how did I get so far.
Stuck depths below par in a hole scarred by failed attempts
To time and time again reach the bar
Sunken in misery; awakened to the epiphany
That I have reached the epitome of depression.
I’m typically hard on my self;
And so I’m hard pressed for answers;
you could say I’m wine pressed;
Cause all I’ve ever wanted was what was best for those around me;
Hands full in service with no strength left for the diamond of my psyche;
Crushed in the futility and sinking in an ocean of uncertainty.
I don’t know what is wrong with me.
Asking if I’m ok doesn’t help me because I know that I’m not,
But I don’t know why.
Can’t miss the water cause I’m welling up with legitimate smears:
I’m brushing my tears back.
Hands full, Mind tired and no rest in sight.
Rolling in my bed till 4:35 with insomnia as company
Hoping like the sun I will rise.
One Day I will, for I know joy comes in the morning.
but for now I’ll remain in mourning.
Please help me stop the bleeding
Lest it all runs out.
My way abandoned,
I trust my life to your hand;
God, my Redeemer.
So the truth of the matter is that I’ve been getting fat. Christmas was a little too kind to me and i fell for it’s charms… and it was glorious. It took the ‘loving hints’ from my girlfriend and an incident when I was going to buy a shirt and saw the magnificence of my belly in the dressing room to push me over the edge. Enough was enough; it was time to do something about it.
So I did what any person aspiring to get slim would do: I saddled up myself and headed on over to the gym. I started eating healthier too, and surely enough, that lil’ me protruding from my stomach is starting to go away. This week just completed would’ve been two weeks since I’ve started, and I must admit, it feels pretty good! There were some interesting things I noted along the way though:
- Eating Healthy nowadays is just so expensive
- Even though you’re working out and it often feels good then, it’s not uncommon to feel like crap a day or two after
- A proper diet is essential and not just trying hard
- It gets easier.
- Having people to support you and be accountable to makes it a lot easier to keep going.
A lot of people want to get smaller or in shape, but don’t really have the commitment to actually work it through. Some might start well and good, but fall away because they just couldn’t form the proper habits. And even after I lose that belly of mine, I know that I have to keep at it in order to maintain my figure and health. It wasn’t long before I realized that a lot of what it takes to remain physically healthy applies to your spiritual health as well.
For starters, a lot of Christians desire more of God and want to deepen their spiritual walk with Him, but aren’t prepared to take the steps necessary to get there. They might start off well and good, but fall away to their normal routines and skip out on devotions. The temptation to cheat on their spiritual diets are real, and they might take a “cheat day” and indulge in things that they know they shouldn’t. And yes, spiritual health is the most expensive of all; Jesus said that if any man wants to be His disciple, he must deny himself, pick up his cross and follow Him. That definitely is more expensive than a protein shake or two.
Friends definitely make it easier though. We were never intended to live this life on our own, as Christ called us collectively to be His bride; and by banding together in unity, we have a much greater defense against whatever comes our way. It will take discipline, patience and consistency, but with the right ingredients and the help of the Holy Spirit, we can achieve that Body of Christ that He desires.
Train on Saints!
photocredit to emillemily
As a child, I loved the Chronicles of Narnia. I was captivated by the tales of the Pevensie children as they entered a magical world full of talking beavers, fauns, centaurs, dwarfs, and white witc…
Source: Lucy and the Lion
(photo credit to https://leandronism.wordpress.com)
As you can deduce from the title, I should be sleeping right now. I’m lying here on my bed in a trance of thoughts of a million things other than what I want to focus on, which is the back of my eyelids. Currently the gears in my head are churning on starting my own YouTube channel and building my first (and likely ambitious ) mobile app. For Android of course. Because ios is for wimps (just kidding!)
I’ve had a lot of free time on my hands, and so this is probably a welcome change as compared to all the loafing around I tend to do. Perhaps, some hard earned cash could come out of this, and one could only be hopeful. As the year is coming to a close, one cannot help but look back at what has gone by and contemplate the past, and future. In my esteem, I’d say that I haven’t really accomplished that much within this year; and that’s a bit of a disappointment, especially coming out of the exciting beginning that I had in January.
I’ve had my fair share of failure this year. Some of it was humbling, others heart wrenching. Still my bruised heart beats and pumps forth an optimism that next year will be a great one. I have a feeling that 2017 is going to be very important, and so I’m really looking forward to see how the cookie crumbles. In the midst of all my ambitions and plans, I’m very curious about where God’s plans for me are.
“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.”
In the midst of the myriad of ideas that flow through my brain, I really want to focus this coming year on what God’s plan is. This year felt like a bunch of sitting around and waiting, but I know that things were being set into motion and soon enough, I’ll see some action. Whether or not I’d enjoy said action, well I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.