A haiku of sorts

Grasping at these straws
Hoping they would pass the time
But they don’t quite work.

Seven

Seven is a number of completion;
And I get that.
Not that it is finished,
But simply the fact
That the summation of my desires have been found.
It’s exact.
The gem of who you are in contact with my needs.
Without hesitation I sold the treasure of my insecurities
And expectations,
Just to buy the plot to get to you.
A gem so precious;
Hardened by pressures beyond my imagination.
Miraculously compressed and condensed Carbon clusters
That radiate Christ’s love uniquely.
Deeply.
A gem blindingly beautiful, beyond anything I’ve beheld,
Eyes locked in at the heart’s behest.
I could hardly believe them, but they speak no lies;
They have seen none superior.
A gem so pristine and pure; perforated by the light of the sun;
Incandescent as you shine for His glory;
Crystalline as you open up to me,
And clear about the way you feel.
A gem that’s here to stay
Beyond flashy words and frivolous airs
that has been tested and found to be innately true.
A gem that I value
More than earthly powers and possessions,
Because they have all proven to be less than adequate.
A gem to call my own,
And in due time to claim for myself.
Seven times, this gem has beckoned to me.

Cistern; Part Two

Quite frankly, a vessel’s useless if it’s in pieces.
Honestly, it can’t hold a thing cause fluids pour out
It’s admittedly foolish to even try.
The artistry is lost; at best its host to memories
But the imagery of it all is pretty much ruined.
So imagine me
Trying to hold it all together like bags of groceries
Saving trips but bearing a burden I can’t really handle.
It’s silly.
Being jury to a crime I didn’t commit but finding myself guilty
Locking feelings away because fragments aren’t pretty
Or maybe I just loved the mess
Unfortunately I really just cannot say.
But I see what it has done to me.
Though it’s ugly, I begin the journey
To piece back together the broken parts of me.
Friends who’ve seen the beauty in me
And God the Master Potter and greatest attorney
Assist in shaping this broken piece of pottery
That’s nothing like it used to be,
But can be so much better.

Cistern; Part One

I never thought much of myself, just kept taking life as it goes
Poured it all out for my friends and sipped on dregs
But when I was thirsty, nobody ever offered me a drink
I never stopped to think
Hey, maybe I should save me some for later.
I blindly let my subconscious be dictator and attribute their demeanour
To mean
Maybe I don’t deserve to drink at all.
I bore holes in my flask just to eek a little bit more out
And when people poured compliments they’d seep through with
“They don’t mean that”s and “that’s not that special anyway”s.
For all the love I’ve poured out, I’ve never taken into account the value of the vessel.
Years later it’s a shallow mess.
Still functional, but it works. Always used to pouring,
Never to be filled.
So when I asked to fill a glass and she said no,
I shattered to splinters instead.
Without pouring, what else do I have?

[Photo credit to www.jointheunstoppables.com]

A Match in the Dark

Flash!

A match is struck against the coarse side of the box
Three plumes alight like down on a wintry mountainside.


They dance gingerly round their frail wooden host,
Thrilling but scaring the dark they kept for company.


The boundary between light and dark tango silently with the rhythm,
All in tandem with an unheard song:


They dance, but they don’t know why.

Spiritual Photoshop

Hey everyone! I was planning to start this series a long time ago, and I would like to revisit it. It’s a great start to a great story, and I hope you’d enjoy it with me ^_^

The matters of the heart

Jaime knew she wasn’t perfect. She loved hanging (flirting) with the boys, because she felt that girls never really understood her. They hardly paid her any mind, to say the least. Guys, on the other hand, loved her. She knew just how to get her way with them; a little smile here and there, or even little ploys to “innocently accentuate her feminine features” as she and her best friend, Priya, would say. She was perhaps the only one Jaime could relate too, because she was “one of the guys” quite like herself. Daddy didn’t like the fact that she wasn’t a Christian, but hey, maybe Jaime’s love for God would minister to her one day and she too would come to love Him.

Right?

Jaime wasn’t your average church girl. She was THE church girl. She led the worship choir, held a position in the Youth leadership, and was…

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Today

I will cherish today.
Where hordes of hurtful yesterdays
Seek to allay the victories I achieved.
Strategically deceive and say that today is not 
okay.
I will love today.
I will keep at bay the spurs  of negativity
Leading me astray to the trenches of doubt they weave
webs in which many fall
prey.
I will value today.
For in it I am blessed beyond measure
with humble blessings and daily treasures
another opportunity to give thanks and
pray.
I will be content today.
Mindful of future goals and plans
I desire to reach but I’ll stand
content and work steadily towards them
today.
I refuse to let past pains and future worries  get in the way
of loving and cherishing myself today.

Real Talk: My way

On the 6th November, we celebrated my mom’s birthday. In our country, we also happened to be celebrating Divali, and so with the day off, our family thought it would be prudent to invite all the brothers over to enjoy a meal together. It is a national tradition to cook Indian food around this time, and so we were planning to cook some channa, or split peas, along with the meal. Mom being the sacrificial person she is, wanted to cook the channa in a way she recently learnt from another recipe. However, as it was her birthday, my father insisted that he prepared it instead.

“You tell me how to do it, and I’ll get it done,” he said, laughing off her constant appeals to cook it for herself. She reluctantly agreed, and proceeded to instruct him on how to prepare the peas. After giving ear to her method, he casually replied, “I think I’ll just do it the normal way that I’m accustomed to.” Her will already overpowered by this point, she put up no resistance and allowed him to do as he so inclined, preparing the channa his way. I simply laughed to myself, knowing beforehand that this was the outcome that was going to play out.

In retrospect, I wonder how many times I decided to make my own split peas. Surely throughout my walk as a Christian, there were times when I would’ve liked to do things that perhaps God would’ve desired, but not in the way that He wanted it to be done. Even more simply put, there are definitely times where I simply did what I wanted, choosing to completely ignore what was right, or what would’ve pleased Him.

Thankfully, Jesus wasn’t like that. In Matthew Chapter 26, Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane with His disciples, hours before He was to be betrayed. He was well aware of what was going to transpire. Soon enough, Judas would betray Him, and He would be sentenced to death on a cross. His emotions were taut, stretched to their limits. He said that His soul is sorrowful, even to death. He retreated from His disciples, praying a simple but powerful prayer:

Matthew 26:39 [ESV]

“And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.””

Jesus recognized that what was being asked of His heavenly Father was no easy task. He was burdened by it so much that He asked that if possible, that He may be exempted from it. In spite of this, He also asked that His Father’s will be done over His own, and thank God He did! We could never repay the great mercy that we were shown because of what was accomplished on the cross for us.

Someone very dear to me was invited along with the gang to celebrate our mom’s birthday with us. This being her first time, I wanted to show her around a bit. She was quite comfy in her seat just then, and said so, but she also said, “if you want me to go, I’ll get up.” Hearing her say that pleased me greatly, and I could only imagine that God was pleased as well by Jesus’s words.

Jesus said in the book of John that if you love Him, you would keep His commands. It’s only when you love someone that you’ll be willing to make sacrifices for them, choosing their way over yours. Does your love for God cause you to choose to do whatever is in your power to please Him? Do you often find yourself willing to make a hard choice for the sake of Christ? Or do you find yourself choosing to make your own channa? If you find yourself in the latter half of the equation, the key is simply to seek Christ for more love. As your love and relationship with Christ improves, so to will your willingness to please Him.

Once you take the right steps to prioritize His will over your own, at the end of your journey you’ll hear Him say, “well done, My good and faithful servant”.

Contemplation by the Mountainside

Maybe I’m the one that misses you.
Maybe in my world,
The dust that settled on this barren rock
Shifted just a little.
Maybe there’s little murmurs under the surface,
Little flutters and gentle twitches alight on still grass.
Maybe there’s magma bubbling up,
As plates shift and drift apart,
Lava lifting to the surface.
Maybe
Just maybe
There’s love.

[Quiet] Time

Very recently I was blessed with the opportunity to visit our sister isle Tobago in order to attend a three day seminar on Biblical Preaching. It was an adventure in of itself, what with me falling ill just before departure and it affecting my voice drastically as the days progressed, and I’m still recovering but God knows what He’s doing. I’ve been so tremendously blessed during this time that  I have no complaints. The fun part about it was that the house where we were staying had no WiFi, and so the millennial in me was writhing in discomfort.

In the midst of that was a rekindling that  only the calm, peaceful shores of God’s love can bring. Being away from all the not-so-meaningful distractions of notifications and conversations that are important but could wait sometimes, I was able to interact with God’s Word so deeply and clearly that my life was cradled in the peace that passes understanding that He promises to provide. This came in a time where I’ve been feeling discouraged about my time of waiting on Him for direction. It’s easy to feel lost when you’re walking on paths unfamiliar to you; easier still to feel tired when you are unsure of where your destination is.

As I stood on the shore and took the picture above, I reflected on God’s faithfulness. I fully understood how the skies declare the glory of God as Psalm 19 says, and having studied that very psalm the same day, God reminded me how lovely and valuable His word is to Him. I quoted verse 14 then, a popular verse, that these words from my mouth and the meditation of my heart would be pleasing to Him.

 

“May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

-Psalm 19:14 [NIV]

I remember days after returning to Trinidad, where I would’ve spent the majority of the day without  giving Him the priority and place that He should’ve had. As I settled in to pray in the evening before bed, He’d gently remind me that I didn’t give Him His seat on the throne. It truly broke my heart. Like the priests in Malachi’s time, I had presented a polluted offering to Him, when He is deserving of so much more. And so I’ve been praying to increasingly love Him more, and value Him enough to  give Him what  He deserves:  my everything.

Quiet time with Christ is often one of the things we neglect so often. In a fast paced society that constantly demands our attention, we easily forfeit precious moments in prayer and bible study to the pursuit of things that are sometimes good, but not nearly as profitable. It’s often only in times of  frustration that we decide to turn to Him, when if we spent our lives seeking Him consistently, many of those situations would be avoided, and in the midst of those  we’d be comforted in the truths that the Holy Spirit brings to our remembrance.

Even as my family enters a somewhat difficult time, I’m glad to be reminded of the importance of our relationship with Christ. I’m glad to know that He is a comfort, a healer and able to do  more than I can ask or think. My prayer is that you would join me in presenting our bodies as daily living sacrifices  for His glory! Don’t worry if you don’t get it right immediately. Just keep striving. You’ll get there 🙂

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Photo credit to http://www.alittleperspective.com