Reflections while waiting for the bus; Part One

It was a chilly Monday morning when I found myself in need of making a choice. Looking out the window of my apartment, the dark clouds presented their argument for me to choose taking the bus this morning to get to my weekly 9am meeting over my usual method of riding my bicycle. It was early enough that it was feasible, and so I obliged. I gathered my laptop bag and trusty umbrella of course, and descended down my elevator to walk over to the bus stop.

The cold bit my fingers and sunk into my bones. I questioned whether I should go grab a jacket, but as the thought rushed by my mind, so too did a bus, heading in the other direction. I thought to myself, “this bus will be coming back around soon, I don’t have time to go back up and grab anything.” Five minutes passed, and the bus what still not in sight. I took a look at my phone, and it said the time was 8:40. “I’m gonna be late,” I thought, as anxiety began to take hold on me.

I had been praying on my way to the bus stop, and the still, small voice of the Lord challenged me. “Why are you so anxious?” I knew it wasn’t just about the meeting. My eyes and ears were now drawn to the cascading waves of the sea just ahead. They were more tumultuous than usual, and I saw myself in them; disturbed.

I was indeed anxious about the bus coming on time. I was anxious that it would be late, and make me late. I was anxious about promises I made to others in faith; that those too would be late, and I wouldn’t be able to honor my word. I was anxious about my finances. I was anxious about the future; about what I am meant to do after this current season of life was over.

I was reminded of Philippians 4:6-7. It says to be anxious for nothing, but make my requests known to God; and so I did. I shared my list with God, up until the last item rolled of my heavy chest.

“Don’t worry, your bus will be on time.”

I was still a bit anxious to be honest, but I chose to believe. Surely enough, the bus arrived. I sat in the bus, still concerned that I’d be late because of the traffic. I chose nevertheless to believe. I got off the bus and hustled to my meeting. I got to the gate and took a look at the time; it was 8:55am.

Funnily enough, it never actually rained that day. The darkness of the clouds however did present to me more than just an argument for using public transport. They gave something to me that was far greater. They gave to me an opportunity to cast my cares on Jesus, because He cares for me. Perhaps life’s circumstances have you questioning whether or not your bus will also be on time. I cannot guarantee that it will, but what I can guarantee is that Jesus is inviting you to place your anxieties in His hands, and to take on His peace instead.

I’m Happy to be Alive.

“I’m happy to be alive.”

This and many other thoughts nestled themselves into my mind as I stood on my ministry leader’s roof, watching the celebration of the New Year just after midnight. It was a war of whimsy; fireworks of varying hues of green, red, yellow and blue pelted the evening skies, accompanied by loud blasts. Some were close, frighteningly yet remarkably so, while others fired off in the distance, oblivious to the wonder they inspired.

This thought weighed on my mind as it juxtaposed itself against conflicting thoughts of how expensive this must be. I’m sure this money could be much more wisely spent, not to mention just how horridly loud everything rang in my ears. Yet, in this moment, I allowed myself the chance to suspend my pragmatic thoughts. I invited wonder into the hearth of my heart, along with this almost magical array of sparkly bliss; as brief as it may be.

Why am I happy?

My year started off like the darkness that was left behind after the festivities were done. There was a lot of excitement just before entering 2024, followed by a purposeless void that clouded my life. I was free floating – not depressed or anything – but dealing with heavy emotions and unsure of where my life was headed. I can look back now and see how loved and cared for by God I was in that season Brick by brick, He laid a new foundation for me to stand upon: Himself.

There were many moments, some brief and others longer, where God’s faithfulness shone like fireworks. They were intense, bright and life giving, but only moments. The wonder of them all nestled into my heart as well, conquering my doubts and assuring me of God’s presence, mercy and joy. It’s easy to forget them, because they were just these little pockets of time. Still, my heart treasures them all the same. In times of need, my heart plays them back to me, and I find safety in them.

As the sparks faded into darkness and smoky air once more this year, what remained was different. This year, I’m left with hope, and and invitation to take God’s hand in walking into a new season of life. I know many others are not as fortunate, and I am thankful for that. In our own seasons of prayerfully seeking what’s to come, a dear friend and I shared some scriptures with each other that suddenly started showing up a lot more in random situations, which we believe is God sending little reminders to us. I’d love to share two of those with you today:

I think of how much preparation, effort, money and time people spend to get their own personalized setups of fireworks ready. They labor tirelessly, all to enjoy it for the 2 or 3 minutes that they light up the sky. Our lives are much like those fireworks; God has set so many things into motion since the beginning of time for us to be present in the here and now. Isn’t that beautiful in itself? In the grand scheme of eternity, we shine for just that little window of time.

Our lives often work that way as well. May we have the diligence and patience to wait on God’s timing in our lives, so that when it is our time to go off, that we shine as brightly and beautifully that people will see us and glorify God. When our lights go out, let people say “Wow! I never saw a firework like that before. The Creator really knew what He was doing with that one!

Proverbs 3:5-6 [NIV]
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.

A big part of my year involved surrendering my life to Jesus and His plans over my life. My plans fell apart, and I had no choice but to say “God, I’m sorry for putting so much weight in my own strength and ideas. Take the wheel and guide me where you want me to go.” For many people that’s a scary thought, and rightfully so I believe. I also think, however, that trusting the One who created the entire Universe with one little life is as smart of an idea as trusting a medical professional with our health. Which one of the two do you think knows better? Do you know better than they when it comes to these things? (maybe if you’re a medical professional yourself hahaha, but you get the idea) All I can say is that God shows up each and every time. It’s usually not how I expect or want, but He’s always there, and things usually works out better than I could’ve done on my own.

I look forward to this new year. I look forward to forming new traditions and ideas that can satiate both my pragmatic and sentimental thoughts. I look forward to seeing the paths that God has laid out for me and challenges me to take. I look forward to getting to know Him better, and growing in relationships with friends and family. I look forward to serving Him in new and interesting ways.

I don’t know where you are in your life; if the darkness brings you hope or despair. I pray that you will find yourself trusting Jesus more this year, and yourself a little less. May you find the only true source of success that can be found: a life that walks in step with our Creator. Have a blessed 2025!

Beautiful in its time.

Seeds birthed from well wishes
Germinate in a mere day.
Fruitful as it ripens between my lips,
It speaks life to dreams and wonder.

Hands shake

As a heart flutters;
Syncopating the beat of the appearance of the Divine
Into small, intentional steps.
Step. By. Step.

Feet alight on sturdy, darkened floors;
Barely able to see more than a few paces ahead.
A mind whirls like a hurricane.
Its eye knows that this will all be a memory someday,
But it ponders of what kind it will be.
Ears await a still, small Voice
To calm a soul steadily searching.

The spirit recalls these puzzle pieces;
Face to face in the mirror.
It knows well that placing these will be no easy task.
As eyes look at the picture coming into view,
He knows that it will become beautiful in its time.

A Jacket’s Journey through Miles and Time

16 degree weather doesn’t mix well with the Caribbean blood in my veins. As such, when I made a plan to go out this evening for some groceries and medication, I reached for a jacket that I brought back with me from my most recent trip back home. This jacket, though ordinary, would bear a significance that brought my heart low in a humility and gratitude that I could not have fathomed while sliding my arms into its sleeves.

You see, while strolling through the fall weather, the fresh cold of its night air kissing my cheeks, a certain contemplation entered my mind. Firstly, and cheekily so, how warm I was. The second was the question, “When last did I wear this jacket?” My mind teleported instantly to 9 years ago; when a younger Garrick attended a global missions conference and dedicated his life to serving Jesus in cross cultural missions.

If he could’ve seen me now, he would’ve been proud to know that his steps of faith found purchase on the substance of things that he hoped for. He would’ve praised God to see that as his trembling hands poured out his future from his alabaster jar and anointed Jesus’s head, not a drop of it was wasted. I wonder if he would’ve been able to see the beauty of Matthew 16:25; the scripture he mentioned in a story he wrote at the time being used as my life verse for this past year. He certainly would be surprised to see that the things God asked if He was willing to give up in service to Him were in fact required for his growth.

Looking back, I’m very proud of the young man who wore that jacket. I’m proud that he trusted God to do what felt impossible. I’m proud that he walked the road that God set before him, even when it looked as if he’d have to walk it alone. He inspires me to continue to press on to the high mark of God’s call over my life. He reminds me to do it even if I’m scared. He teaches me once more that God is faithful, and when we step out with Him, there’s no telling what God can do.

After I got home, I made some hot chocolate, sat in the dark, and rewatched the last sermon that was preached at that missions conference. It was the sermon that changed my life. Over 100 people gave their hearts to Christ that night, and hundreds more dedicated their lives to serving Him in cross cultural missions. It was almost magical. It wells my heart with wonder and joy just to think about how much more lives were changed because we were brave enough to say yes to Jesus.

Like Elisha, I feel like this jacket was a mantle that was cast to me. That young man of yesterday is gone; and as I wear this jacket today, I have no idea what’s in store for me. All I know, is that I haven’t turned my back on God, and He’s never let me down. I know that what He has in store for me is going to be bigger and better than what has gone before.

One of the themes of that conference was “What’s your story?” and I can say that I am eternally grateful for the story that God has been writing about me. I have lost what feels like everything in this journey, but what I have gained is far more valuable than anything else this world can offer. I have gained a heart that emphatically, authentically and ultimately loves Jesus; and a lifelong journey with Him.

Fly.

Do I need a reason to want to fly,
Or can I just ask the impossible?
Can I plea for pinions and the wherewithal
To overcome gravity itself;
Or maybe just for the opportunity
To walk out of this cage?
Do I need a reason to want to fly
Or should I just see what is possible?
Shall I soar on prayers like eagles
riding in skies that I dream of,
Or contently stand at seasons’ behest
Furthering it’s plans but not my own?
I don’t quite think I do need a reason,
But for once I think I have one.

Alien

The crunch of sand beneath my feet is all too familiar
as I land on this rock once again.
The warmth sets in first, embracing me as I egress
But it doesn’t quite say “welcome back.”
The stars glisten in the distance,
Reminding me of places far away;
Places I dream of, but for various reasons to which
I may not be able to return.

I hesitate to cast my flag,
wondering if I’ve been here before.
It looks exactly as my memories would say it does,
And yet, my hand shudders at the unknown.
Perhaps its not meant to be what it was,
Or even, it’s somewhere entirely different.

The locals speak my tongue,
And deep down I know that I got it from them.
They ask me how it feels to be home,
While I look around at this strange planet.
I reply with a subtle accent that they don’t seem to notice,
or choose not to point out.

I take off my spacesuit,
To find that the air is just fine.
I take a few deep breaths.
Inhale.
Exhale.
It’s safe to say that I’ll be alright for the while,
Until I’m ready to head out again.

I peruse the canvas of earth set before me,
And trace its lines with my fingers.
My muscle memory has yet to kick in, but
I know it’s there.
I can’t quite tell if I’m on another planet,
but I think the reality is obvious:
I’ve become an alien to my own home.

The Fragrance of Ocean.

A scented candle perfumes this space;
Filling the emptiness of silence,
Save for the gentle hum in the distance.
I trace with my mind
The countless days when it wasn’t so…
Silent.
It’s peaceful, really.
Tinged at times with a melancholy
Accompanying this dull, buzzing sound.
Just as the wick will burn out anytime now,
This silence too, will go away.
Shall my nostrils taste this sweet aroma again,
I hope to remember well
That gentle purr that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

I kissed the sun goodbye

I kissed the sun goodbye.
It set off into the distance,
Promising to brighten up the day of someplace else.
The light lingered in my eyes.
As it trailed off, I knew the dark was coming.
It crept into my backseat window.

I would love for the sun to stay;
To radiate its glow like the moon with my beaming face
But time has chartered its course;
It simply must go away.
I too have a destination ahead in the dark,
As the hours beckon me on.

Headlights guide my course now.
My company few, but needed.
I’m not quite headed home just yet, but I’ll get there someday.
I dry my eyes as we head to town.
I think my tears are bitter like my coffee,
But it’s an acquired taste.

We set off one more time.
Our final destination eventually arrives.
Exhausted I set to lay my head to rest.
I have dreams of sunshine.
I wake up in darkness, brush my teeth and get ready.
I head for home with hope renewed;
Someday, the sun will rise again.

Evangelism in A Digital World

(That’s me, ZEPHYR, in the middle, having fun with members from my guild in Guardian Tales, a mobile rpg  developed by Kakao Games)

Introduction

I’d like to start by saying I’m no professional when it comes to evangelism. I’ve been involved with Christian groups and churches that have done outreach in some ways, I went to a couple workshops and I have even attended a workshop or two on the topic. Just like many others however, I’m still figuring it out when it comes to sharing my faith. It’s nerve racking, tense and sometimes really awkward, but out of a heart that desires for others to know about the the wonderful God I serve, and a  desire to be faithful and obedient to the Great Commission to make disciples of all nations, I swallow my fear in the abundance of love that God gives and step out of my comfort zone sometimes.

What I do know is that I love God, and I love games. I studied Computer Science in university because I wanted to make games, but was a little scared to fully commit to it for a while, and I’m still figuring that out as well. Regardless of my experience or knowledge,  the call of the Christian is clear, and I would love to pursue Christ and my passions, running as fast as I can, and I hope to bring these two together in a wonderful harmony. 

The harvest is ripe

Due to the recent pandemic that has taken the world by storm, social distancing has become a norm. The means by which we usually communicate has changed; classrooms became zoom  calls, and church services became live streams. Whether we liked it or not, we have plugged ourselves into a digital portal through which we interface with many whom we took seeing face to face for granted. 

Now more than ever we see people interacting with social media, playing online games and finding whatever means of  escape they can because of the stresses of life, now exacerbated by the coronavirus. 

Why not just do  a crusade online?

While it is true that God can use anything to spread His Gospel, the internet is a tricky place. The foundations of many social media sites and other content with which people can interact with each other usually were designed not with the Gospel in mind, but money. If there’s something that doesn’t interest someone, it is deemed not profitable, and so discarded. Essentially, most overtly Christian material online tends to only reach Christian audiences. 

In the same vein, many believers do use these sites for our own entertainment. We can interface with people over common interests and potentially develop lasting relationships with people we haven’t even met. With that in mind, my approach to digital Evangelism has mainly been that of relational evangelism: which simply involves being intentional about building relationships and being aware of opportunities for spiritual conversations to happen. Often people would be willing to hear what you have to say if they know you have their best intentions at heart, even if they may not agree with the message at first. By being intentional, being salt and light and continuing to share God’s love in various ways, the Gospel can be shared with others, even those who live hundreds of miles away. 

A Testimony: Sharing my faith in Guardian Tales

I started playing Guardian Tales in September 2020. I had no intentions of sharing my faith when starting out, only to play and enjoy what the game had to offer, as I usually enjoy playing games of that genre. One of the game’s features includes a guild, which is a group of people that can join together  to clear particular content and chat with each other. Because one of the game’s objectives was to join a guild, I picked a random one (ironically called HellTribe) and joined.

Upon joining the guild, I was sent to the guild lobby where other players were hanging out (see the picture above for context if you feel confused). This is unusual, because in many games, guilds often feature people who are just there to do the content and get out, and not really interact with each other. I joined in the fun here and there and found that it was a very eccentric bunch of folks. It was at this point, as I was thinking about sharing my faith in games recently, that I figured that I could try something out here.

Putting in the ground work

The first thing that I realised was that the messaging in the game was frustrating to use. In efforts to prevent swearing and use of inappropriate words, there were filters in place to censor such words in order to keep the experience appropriate for younger players. However, many normal words, (like knight for example) would often be censored as well. I suggested that we create a Discord server (an application that is often used as a chatting  space for gamers) so that chatting could be less frustrating, and we’d be able to communicate better. There were some hiccups along the way, but it was established, and for a while things were very slow. 

The fruit of the labor

While it took some weeks, the guild chat on Discord became very active. People began sharing a bit about themselves, and we know the first names of a few of us. As I’m on the Latin American server, there are people from Puerto Rico, Mexico and also Argentina. We have an idea of the ages of a few of us and members talk frequently about a variety of topics. Relationships  were developing, and friendships building. 

One day, the perfect opportunity arose. A member of the guild  had posted in our chat a link to a thread where he shared his thoughts about feeling depressed and lonely during the pandemic. I was able to message Him and share the Gospel with Him, and while he hasn’t accepted Christ just yet, he has committed to learning more about Him and so for now I’ve been keeping him in prayer and will continue to do so.

A suggestion on how to approach digital evangelism

Understand your medium and plan accordingly

It goes without saying that not every game, website or forum would be the best to approach evangelism. Some might be outright inappropriate and as a believer you may want to avoid altogether. For example, while you might think that consumers of content from a pornographic website need Jesus, it may not be the best place to tell them there. A game with limited communication may not be feasible to meet others and stay in touch with them, but it may have external resources (such as Discord in my example) where you may be able to build a relationship through the common activity of the medium with the intention of sharing the gospel. 

Know that you won’t know who you’re dealing with

Some content might reveal more information about yourself than others. For example, on facebook, it’s usual for someone’s name and picture to be visible. In many online games, that is not usually the case. It is therefore very important that you use your discretion when relating with others, being mindful of how much about yourself you share, and appreciating the fact that they may not be as forward with their personal information either. It’s also very important to know that because of this, you shouldn’t assume anything about who you’re talking to. For example, In the guild I play with, there are a few minors present. If you were the parent of a minor who finds out that they have been having lengthy conversations with a stranger online,  you could understand how that may be a difficult situation for them, and so be very wise about how you relate with others.

Don’t be in a rush to share the Gospel

The urgency of the Gospel is very clear, and we know that tomorrow isn’t promised. With this in mind, it can be tempting to desire to share the Gospel right away, but relational evangelism takes both time and effort. Keep your eyes open for opportunities to share God’s love with them, and they will come. Of course, if you believe God is leading you to, go right on ahead and share with them. 

Conclusion

There are hundreds of thousands of people who may willingly play a game, chat on a forum or browse a website and never enter a church, listen to a sermon or read a Bible. Especially in this time that we live in, we have the opportunity to interact with them and share God’s love to them in ways that we never thought possible. The only limitation we have is our willingness to be used by God. May every interaction that we have continue to serve to bring people and ourselves closer to the love of Jesus Christ. 

How would you consider doing digital evangelism? Feel free to let me know too!

(Featured image from https://www.dermascope.com/)

Getting the feet wet; Diving in, swimming fast.

DevCats Blog

Good morning everyone! It has definitely been a long time since my last post, but a lot has been happening in my life and the world as a whole. I had transitioned out of my last job as a web developer, and in more recent times I have found myself getting back into the field, and hence this blog’s absence, and now resurgence. As a phoenix rises from the ashes, bursting with life and energy, so to has a passion in me been rekindled, and I intend to fly on these newly found wings.

So, what brings me, and by extension, you, here?

While still at my previous job, I would always fantasize about developing and publishing my own game. In fact, it’s why I got into the field of Computer Science anyway. Unfortunately, there aren’t much opportunities for such employment in my country, and so I used my education…

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